Many times, we dilly dally between these two positions. We wonder if it was better to follow our head’s or to follow our hearts. We believe that to follow the head is logical, and to follow the heart emotional. Atimes we simply rationalize, that men follow their heads and ladies follow their hearts.
We all get to take decisions in our lives, researchers say that daily we make as many as 350 decisions. We decided on a variety of things, ranging from when to wake up to what to where, what to eat, how to eat, what to wear, when to wear e.t.c. We all make loads of decision everyday. It has even been said, that not making a decision requires a decision in itself.
Another interesting reality is that decisions are crucial. One little decision can make a huge difference in a persons life. Can you try and imagine for example that you did not go to the university you went to? If you had taken that decision differently, you will not be right where you are now, you will have different friends, might be in a different profession, your life would be different, clearly different. If we make the decision a smaller decision, let’s say on the day that accident happened you had not worn your seat belt, or lets say that you decided to meet with someone 5 mins longer than you planned to, and missed on that appointment that has contributed so much into who you are… reality is little changes in the initial conditions lead to extreme changes in end results, it’s called the butterfly effect.
If decisions happen so often, and the implications of them are so severe, should we not have clear principles on how to make the best decisions? Would it not be good if we master the art of taking decisions? Would it not be a worthwhile investment to get it right at getting it right? Here are a few things you can do to always make the best decisions. I also hope that from looking at these thoughts, you will right some wrong decisions you made already.
1. Purpose: Ultimate: Destination
When purpose is not known, abuse is said to be inevitable (paraphrased from Miles Munroe). THe first thing you want to ensure is clear about your life, about your relationships about any venture you decide to go into is what your purpose is. Whenever I want to address any audience, I ask myself what is my objective. There is a reason behind the writing of this article, there is a purpose I want to achieve, and that’s what is going to influence the key thoughts I put together to write it. You cannot make great decisions if you don’t have any clear picture of what you want to ultimately achieve. You need to be clear on the end, then the picture of the end will instruct the present.
While explaining to you the severity of decisions, you might have gotten the impression that decisions determine destiny, truth, but the converse is also through, destination determines decision. That if I know I am going to Abuja, it will instruct the decisions on were to face, what options to chose from and what to do. No one who wakes up in the moring and goes to the car park without clear a destination in mind gets anywhere of value. Our daily decisions ought to be a process of submitting our immediate to our ultimates.
If you don’t know what you want for your life, you are likely to spend your time wrongly. If you don’t know what you want from marriage, you will marry the wrong person. If you don’t know what you desire for yourself in 5yrs time, you are not likely to apply any extra pressures to your carbon to make it diamond. Don’t move an inch before you check alignment with your desired future. What you really want is available, don’t settle for less. Things will not get better by themselves, our little decisions have tremendous effects on our lives. Stop it, Start it, Leave it, but let your decision take into congnisance where you are going. People going nowhere don’t make extra efforts. Crosses are meant to be endured because of the joys seen ahead. The difference between the person who uses his computer to play games, and browse, and someone who uses it to learn programming is purpose. One night a young man of age 21 observed, that while he lucubrated with candles to pass his certification exams, his contemporaries used street lights to play draft. What makes the difference is purpose.
2. Inner Compass
Thank God, Nigeria has not advanced to the point where we have too many people believing that their lives just happened. Our challenges, poverty and pains have achieved one good thing, it has made us conscious of the presence of God! Let’s not deceive ourselves, the world is not all we see. There is a spiritual dimension to life, there is a place that the things that we see take their sources from. Life is not merely physical, there is an unseen spiritual dimension that dictates what we see in reality. It amazes me, how if you approach wealthy men and kings, they all allude to the fact that wealth is spiritual. From the early days of Babylonian kings, Egyptian pharaohs, wealthy men and world leaders, there has been none of these people who have not had spiritual assistants. Some of them had astrologers, some of them magicians, some of them prophets, but one thing was clear, the leaders of the world systems know clearly that life is more than the physical. I once had a very rich friend who told me, he said Deolu – I have many billionaires in dollars, there is none of them that does not rely on one form of spiritual assistance or the other. The very rich Moslems have imams, the very rich Christians have pastors, and the very rich church or mosque goers have baba’s. Let’s not deceive ourselves, there is a spirit world!
However, I am not advocating that you employ the services of a seer, a baba, or the more religious sounding ones. One thing I know for certain is that God want’s to reach out to human beings. He’s tired of mediums, and middle men who in an initial bid to serve the people have become lords over them. The voice of God has ceased to be in the spectacular (Wind, Storm, fire or Smoke), He speaks via a still small voice, to them who have preserved the channels to hear Him by. You are not more relevant than your ability to connect with God’s unique message to your life. He speaks expressly and warns that he that has ears should hear. He has given us a guide, we have access to his word, to his spirit and to the experiences of many who he has surrounded us with. The most sure and secure source of direction of purpose and in guiding decisions is that inner voice. “If your heart is right with God”, any decision you make that makes you to lose peace is a wrong decision. End it! Don’t regain fresh unhealthy peace, don’t employ the help of friends to help you rationalize it, change. God seldom destroys without first warning, but he that remains stiff necked after many corrections will be destroyed without suddenly!
To restore your inner compass, seek God, ask him for his mercy, get to a quiet place, ask him for the gift of His Holy Spirit. Read Is 58. Read it every day for the next 7 days. It talks about the kind of fast that will make your prayers to be heard by God, and make God accessible to you. We decieve ourselves if we think we are self sufficient. You are not!
3. Congruence: Alignment
Don’t follow either your head or your heart. Follow both. In times when His voice is not clear, and both directions seem in line with your purpose, you need to use what you have! God did not put a brain in your head because he was experimenting with Grey matter. He put a brain in your head because He wanted you to use it. Someone (I think Bishop David Oyedepo) once said, God gave you a brain so that you can give him rest! Your head is correct, use it. There are so many times we tell ourselves, just follow your heart, it doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not. Let it make sense. Listen through, seek to understand, but don’t make decisions that don’t make sense. Invest in gaining understanding. Your best decisions will have the alignment of your head and your heart. Don’t go with your head at the expense of your heart, neither should you go with your heart at the expense of your head. Consult your head for matters of the heart, and consult your heart for matters of the head. When two agree, nothing shall be impossible! Seek for congruence, seek for alignment.
Matters of the Head: Business, Career, Location, Deals, Negotiation, e.t.c. These are matters of the head, but you must follow your heart after your head gels.
Matters of the Heart: Love, Relationships, Family, e.t.c. These are matters of the heart, “but I love him”, “I feel I can trust him”. Use your head even when your heart has agreed.
May you hear a voice behind you saying this is the way, walk in it. May you have no lack for direction, may your road be smooth, may instruction never be far from you. May God give you a dream, a picture of the ultimate that instructs your immediate. May you be a wonder and a leader in your generation, and may you make the right decisions!
What decisions do you need to make? Make them well!