Have you asked that question lately? This is a question we can ask in thanksgiven, but it’s a question we ask more as a complain and out of finding ourselves in places we think we do not deserve. We ask, “why me?”, “why not someone else?”, “why am I going through this mess?”, “Why?”. It may be frustration at work, an exam you prepared for but failed, the loss of a loved one, financial mishap, struggle with an addiction, loss of any type, health issues, acute fear, marital issues, frustrated dreams or an endless list of possibilities. You look at your life, stare at your situation and muse over your circumstances. You know it’s not a fair question to ask, but it slips out of your mouth anyway. You lift up your head to the skies, you desire to see and meet with God, and the question on your heart is, “Why me?”. I have an answer for you today!
From my personal experience and from keen observation of the stories shared by many others, I have come to one empowering perspective – “The message you were sent to deliver to this world, will be formed in the midst of your mess”. The reason why you are going through what you are going through, is because that area of challenge has a key that a large population of the world is struggling to open. The reason you are in that mess, is because someone needs to get the key, and use the key to set others free. The reason why you are experiencing what you are experiencing, is because before you can help others become free, you need to understand what they are going through and be able to show them the way.
The comfort that you will offer the world, is going to be derived from the comfort you received while going through your challenges. The audience you will reach will be far beyond those going through exactly what you went through, but will extend to those who will derive inspiration from exactly the same type of comfort you received.
I’ll give 2 examples, one from the life of a global celebrity coming out of a “Why Me” situation, and one from my own life to bring it home.
The lyrics below are from Whitney Houston’s latest album. The challenges she had were drugs and a failing marriage, but have a look at the lyrics of the comfort she received.
Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn
I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would breakI didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
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I didn’t know my own strengthFound hope in my heart,
I found the light to life
My way out the dark
Found all that I need
Here inside of me
I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would breakI didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strengthThere were so many times I
Wondered how I’d get through the night I
Thought took all I could takeI didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength
If you read those lyrics, you’ll see applications to different kinds of people going through any kind of struggle. Struggle with disease, family, frustration, unrealized dreams e.t.c. She was able to connect with millions of women around the world, with an album that become number one in a few weeks from launch. She was able to reach deep down into the comfort that she received, and find comfort for others. Her mess brought out a message, and brought her out to the other side of “why me?” – a place of no regrets!
Personally, I get frequently invited to speak to people about business, about plan B, about living the dream, about leading, empowering others or simply living an inspiring life. Just this last Saturday, I was a keynote speaker in a “Plan B conference”. The message I deliver in all these places is not what I read from books. The message I share, was forged in the crucible of my challenges! My failed attempts at business, my losses of different dimensions, wrong choices I made, my frustrations with business and my quest to go back into paid employment. A candle has to burn before it can give light, the light we share is the result of our burning experiences. The comfort we share, is the one we have received.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it’s work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-5
Wisdom and depth are developed in prolonged trying terms. Quit looking for the short cuts, endure the pains, enjoy the process, and know that what God gives you in that hour of discomfort holds your message to millions and holds your key to abundance.
14 thoughts on “Why Me?”
Inspiring. You can go through it but don’t stay there!
“A candle has to burn before it can give light”….Wow!
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This statement sums it all up for me “A candle has to burn before it can give light, the light we share is the result of our burning experiences. The comfort we share, is the one we have received”.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
Yess Boss.
Thanks for the motivation to do more
good one n quiet inspiring, thank you
Great. We must all realize that a ‘pure’ Gold is refined by fire
Asking why me, doesn’t do much good in the long run. rather than ask why me? Ask what can I learn from this? As Deolu rightly said, it is in the mess that we discover the message that we have been sent to spread to the world. No great person found their life mission or passion in pleasure, it is in the lowest ebb of life that we discover our greatest strength and motivation, purpose and passion for living. So quit asking why me, and start asking what’s in it for me? What can i learn from this? what message is inside this mess? And in the end, the world will be better because you endured and learnt rather than complaining and nagging.
Great post CM, thanks for sharing.
This is what seperates “motivational speakers” with book knowledge only from people who are out there in the market place, who have had the raw experiences, challenges, successes and all. We all need to go through our unique experiences and see it as a tool to turn lives around.
Thanks man, you have earned the right to empower people; your life has been eventful, the twists, bends, triumphs…… I appreciate you.
Weeping may endure for a light but joy comes in the morning. We must all go through our night to experience our morning.
I have always believe our prosperity is in the problem we are born to solve. The best way to solve a problem is when you experience it yourself.
Perhaps, you are the proximate cause of what you are passing through right now, not to worry, repent and start afresh. Learn from your mistakes that is meant to give you mercy and not to mess you.
The right word for the season. Sir, you just spoke to my situation. Thanks!
Hmm! I may have crashed down and tumbled many times but i will never crumble no matter what, until i tell my story. I was in a meeting last friday and the preacher told his story. Boy! mine was like a child’s play by every stretch.
Many thanks, sir!
We are made (or marred) by our adversities, no matter how hard they may seem!
I read a line of similar sentiments in passing earlier this week… “God doesn’t comfort us to make us comfortable; He comforts us to make us comforters” – ODB 07-12-2010.
i must confess…u re gifted…i lov all ur articles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!