The West African Idols has become the rallying point of many family and office discussion these days. It provides a mixture of entertainment and an opportunity for Nigerians to debate and criticize. These are some of the times when not having DSTV could be really painful, as it means you’ll be an observer in most of the jokes and comments resulting from West African idols- “This is not werking for me”, “aah aah?”
Watching the West African Idols auditioning has been fantastic comic relief though. Aside of the good sides of being impressed by exceptional voices in Nigeria, one thing you cannot miss are the horrible voices who ventured to go for the audition. Why will someone make a fool of himself/herself in full public view. Isn’t it better to make the mistakes in the presence of a few friends and never again? Some people had no business whatsoever going for this event, they were either wrongly advised, deceived by their friends or lacked counsel! Talking about Counselors, do you have any? Do you have people that advice you? Is there anybody you can count on to always tell you the truth? Or are you on your own? Are you on your way to auditioning for a competition you have no chance in?
Think about it, when was the last time someone was upfront to you about weaknesses you never thought you had? If this hasn’t happened to you lately, it means you are in the wrong crowd. Friendship is not surrounding yourself with only people who like you the way you are, you also need people who love you the way you are but love you too much to leave you that way.
It amazes me how so many people don’t know that they have bad breath, so many don’t know they have body odour, so many don’t know they don’t know how to sing, dance or speak. Yet they do these things in front of friends and family that love them too much to tell them the truth. I’m sure this already sounds like a good excuse, it’s not, if you don’t hear people tell you the truth, you need to go out and get it. Believe me, watching the west african idols, I have seen some people and I have wondered if they have parents, friends or family. But can you really blame these family and friends? Here are a few points on what to do, and how to go about getting counsel.
1. Ask for it – Feedback is best when solicited. Many people have gotten their fingers burnt giving people unsolicited feedback. Even though feedback is a gift, it’s one of those gifts that’s great to give when you ask for it. Go all out and ask people what they think about a skill you think you have. Ask your girlfriend if your mouth stinks, ask your tight pals if they can pick your scent from a distance. Go for feedback, solicit.
2. Take feedback well – One thing that discourages people from ever telling you the truth is your being so defensive. Some people go ahead to ask for feedback, only to start explaining to you why things are not the way you see it. Why did you ask in the first place? Take it well, it’s a gift. The best thing anyone can do for you is be upfront with you about your weakness. As soon as you know it, it becomes easy to start working on it. The bridge between unconscious incompetence and conscious incompetence is awareness.
3. Have mentors, and make them proud – A mentorship relationship is a life saver. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel. Someone has gone through similar issues with the one facing you right now. Talk to them, ask them for their advice. Let their time be worth it, the best repayment for a mentors time, is you hitting it big. It’s a big thing to be able to point to people who you have supported to succeed. I personally feel a great sense of pride when I recieve those text messages… I got the job, I got the deal, I was chosen, I won, Thank you… e.t.c.
4. Be selective about opinions – Telling you to ask for feedback from others, doesn’t mean that everybody’s opinion counts. Some people don’t have your best interest at heart and cannot advice you right. This is why you need to be selective about who you listen to. Some strong feedback can damage your self esteem for life, don’t listen to every opinion about you. The opinions that count, are the opinions of people who have demonstrated that they genuinely love you and care about you. If we believe everything people said about us, we will be very miserable and confused people. Base your selection on who you believe really cares and wants the best for you.
5. Let people see you perform – The best place to discover if you have a talent is not on television. That’s the place to showcase what you have discovered. Stunning the crowd is preceded by nights of rehearsals. The spotlight is where what you did outside the spotlight will be rewarded. Let your friends and family be first witnesses of your talent, if you can win them, the world is not enough.
The great book says that in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Are you safe?
14 thoughts on “West African Idols – Counsel Wanted!”
Well said!
What do you do when you know u need a mentor and you can’t get one in your field of interest or they are seemingly far fetched?
dats some home truth man , u are really reading lots of things rite
@ Bisola,
I believe that you are less than 5 people away from the most remote people in the world, you know someone that knows someone that knows someone that knows… we can try it here too… mention the field for example and we’ll see how many people here know someone that can help you. I hope that werks for you 🙂 LoL
Chairman,
I think the reason why some of the people with bad voices show up at idols is to gain recognition or publicity. i think most of this people know they lack what it takes to be a singer. likewise most people that engage in negative vices do so to get recognition. what a strange way to attain fame-where you display your weakness.
oluyemi Adeosun
Well thought out! Idols- Counsel. I share the biblical opinion that there is safety in the midst of good counsels.
My life has moved faster in the right direction when I heeded counsels from good people around me, though hard to take at times, but good counsels are fore runners for great and noble feats.
@ Bisola: I just feel I should chip this in, like Chairman said that you are maximum 5 people away from the most remote people in the world, but in your quest of seeking for a mentor, beware of some mentors who could turn out to be tormentors.
I have my reasons.
We live in a culture that does not encourage feedbacks. Feedbacks however helps to improve performace.
Deolu is very right. The best place to discover you have a talent (or do not have) is not the televison! You may be in for s surprise. That’s what’s happening in Idols. If you think you can sing, try singing a few times for your friend’s birthday! I hope they’ll be kind enough to tell you when you sing with “key Z”.
Like the saying goes, charity begins at home, so when you win your family in showcasing your talents, then you can stand up to any crowd.
if i was at the intern show, or the Mr Nigeria contest or amstel box office or big brother nigeria or any other reality show, whether i was sent packing first or last, at least i was at the show. people would see me later and say “na that guy be this, u no know am?”. Buttom line we seek publicity anyhow we can. look at “derele”. Besides come to think of it many must come for few to be chosen and for it to be fare.
Hi Deolu, thats really great. It shows you are really concern about a lot of people. All what you said is true, you see many people only go to great events to disgrace themselves and is really bad especially when I saw things like that on the TV.
But you’ve done well Deolu, especially the lessons one can learn from your write-up above.
There is nothing I can say but HAIL you men.
Chairman, you have shown that there are lessons to be learnt in everything with the way you linked getting counsel / feedback to the appearance of some people on west african idol who should not have been allowed through the gate in the first instance. This kind of attitude is however a subject of research in the United States at the moment. This is because there were people who showed up for auditioning on the current series of American Idol that could not sing. They also did not take kindly to feedback from the judges and questioned their competence. This attitude has been identified as being sociological / psychological and a study has been started. It boils down to over-rating oneself in terms of self-esteem, while some did it for the 2-5minutes of fame, at least they were shown on cable / satellite television!!
Meanwhile, setting up a formal mentoring and partnership program is a great idea that can solve the problem of Bisola Mogaji and others in her situation. Is this something you can add to your current portfolio?
Idols West Africa is one of the best things to happen on nigeria’s screen today.it cant all be about seriousness, there has to be some funny people to spice it up.if not for this, even the judges would be bored!
i must say its been a wonderful experience so far except for some variations here and there compared to the American Idol.
your really doing a great job
the feedback mechanism helps alot in self appraisal. it makes you find out your areas of strenghts and weakness. it makes you know what abilities you have which of them you should build up.but because people dont want to listen to other people’s opinion, they will rather go to national tv and make fun out of themselves.