Written by
Written by

Deolu Akinyemi


Dear Praise,

Thanks for the great work you have been doing all through the years. I have a major challenge in my marriage at the moment that I feel my spouse is cheating on me. We both got married as born again Christians and all was well until he started asking me to buy some skimpy wears and put them on at home which I don’t feel comfortable in. After some time he started complaining that I don’t initiate sex which is contrary to my religious beliefs. Please what do you advice me to do because I don’t want to lose my home.


It is a wonderful day to you out there and thanks so much for your comments. I have received lots of compliments from so many people on the present series we are running while I have gotten some bashing from a couple of women as well who felt I wasn’t fair on our women.

I have repeatedly mentioned here that the aim of this column isn’t to promote a gender at the expense of another but to look for ways to assist us build the most desirable homes and ultimately nation. If your present approach hasn’t been paying off I think it is wise to try out a new approach. Many of us seem to know the right way to build a successful relationships but it hasn’t worked out. I think we should try out something new.

I don’t believe in a microwave solution to marital issues but I think if we are humble enough to unlearn and relearn time tested principles of building a desirable marriage then we shall all reap the benefits.

We have been trying to examine what many of us have overlooked for long. Many of us complain about our spouses running after the women outside without trying to examine the differences between a wife and a concubine. For a 21st woman to keep a marriage it wouldn’t be sufficient to be your husband’s wife, you must also be his concubine.

The question I started with today will take me to the third and fourth difference between a wife and a concubine:

3. A wife dresses for the occasion while a concubine dresses to attract the man

I don’t subscribe to married women dressing loosely but if your spouse begins to ask you to wear skimpy wears at home, my advice to you would be to obey your husband. I am aware that many of us don’t feel comfortable because of our religious beliefs but you must understand that your husband is your first pastor and you must pay attention to what he is saying. No man wants his wife’s private parts to be displayed as public parts to the general public but if he is saying he wants you to bare all at home then you should tow the part of wisdom.

Men are visually stimulated so he might want you to set the tone or set him on fire by what you put on at home. The truth many women don’t seem to understand and which your man may never tell you is that men don’t like women who ‘tie’ wrapper. The concubine doesn’t need be told how to dress because she knows the first way to move the man is through what she wears. One thing she understands and intentionally carries out is the fact that not too many men can resist a woman whose dressing bares it all. That is why she wears skimpy skirts, tight shorts and others. Learn to dress at home to attract your man and even when you are going out, pick your colors well and be at your best (good dressing can be learnt)

4. A wife waits for him while a concubine requests for him

One striking difference when it comes to love making is while a lot of women wait for their spouses to make sexual advances the concubine requests for it. Some women even punish their spouse’s with sex but the concubine is waiting to compensate and requests him to come for it anytime. There is nothing wrong with making sexual advances at your man(a lot of men love that). Making sexual passes at your man has nothing to do with your religious beliefs. He is your man and there is no shame in that after all he is the only one you should be naked with without shame.

To be continued

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