The article you are about to read, are the words of Praise Fowowe, he has already been introduced on this site, and as a function of my belief in his vision as a token of my support for his work, I’m going to be featuring him once a week to regularly on this site.
Sex is a topic that cuts across every level, every race and every tribe. It’s a common ground for the rich and the poor, the sanguine and the phlegmatic, the employee and the entrepreneur. The things that all humans struggle with are the same things, just in different forms. When we come to ourselves, we always feel guilty about doing wrong, but we have grown to rationalize the current way of life, and find some comfort for ourselves in the things we engage in.
If the makers and movers of condom, are not confident to use it to sleep with an AIDS patient, then people must be sick to entrust their lives into their products. If indeed there is no safe sex outside the context of marriage, if indeed premarital sex is rehearsals for infidelity, if indeed sex is a covenant, if indeed it is true that what a man ejaculates into a woman has the capacity of replicating him, if indeed every time a man lies with a woman he hands over to her his strength, his identity and his dignity, then we must learn how to be in control of our sexuality. We long for a New Nigeria where it’s citizens grow to ripe old ages and not as statistics for sexual accidents.
Please join me as we plunge into the experience and thoughts of Praise O Fowowe.
SEX TALKBACK with PRAISE O FOWOWE
WHEN MEN WERE MEN………………….
I wouldn’t want to believe that we have always been like this; nobody would have been able to convince me that we have not been tampered with. I kept thinking about this as I made my way to my favourite spot every Sunday evening (Ajegunle) where I talk to youths. I looked at all the men I met on my way and kept thinking all through the few hours I spent with the youths. When I was through I went back to my house and found it very hard to sleep all through the night not because I wanted to do a vigil but simply as a result of all I have heard since I started running the sexual abuse series. It was as if the best of us can’t even be trusted.
I kept wondering what we were like and I realized that:
* When men were men, we were the foundation of the home: that simply means that we were whole and provided a solid foundation for our family in every way. We were at home which made it absolutely difficult for strangers to abuse our children and lie to our wives. We were not shaky hence the home was intact. We were self controlled and restricted sex to marriage with our legal wives.
* When men were men, we were faithful husbands:- we knew what it meant to cultivate our wives. We left ladies better than we met them. Interestingly these ladies tied wrapper and wore no blouses yet we were able to stay faithful to our women because of the vow we exchanged at the point of marriage. We were men of our words and even though we were away for days, our wives had no cause to suspect us or accuse us of infidelity because our words matched our behaviour. We could be trusted.
We were ready for marriage and we understood the responsibility that comes with getting married to a woman. We were matured for it and dared not defile ladies before marriage.
* When men were men, we were true fathers- we were neither absentee fathers nor lion of the tribe of our homes. It was very easy to relate with our children and teach them well. We dated our daughters and sustained their self esteem that it became absolutely difficult for an ill informed guy to mislead them. We called our girls queen and said nice things to them that there was no feeling of inferiority wherever they found themselves. We taught our boys how to relate with the opposite sex and led by example what it meant to keep one’s words. We were epitome of integrity. We treated all ladies as daughters, sisters, mothers and other king’s queen without taking advantage of them even when they were vulnerable.
* When men were men we left inheritance for our children – we never left debts for our children but a good name and a great wealth. We never made life difficult for our family after our demise with the appearance of concubine they never knew who came to share a part of the spoil we left. Our memory was blessed and we truly rested in piece. As a matter of fact God was proud of us.
* When men were men, we were like God – Our wives looked up to us for direction because we provided a vision that was worth following. We taught them about God the father because we had a relationship with Him. We were truly the head because our eyes provided sight (vision) for our family, our nose discerned what was wrong (sensitivity), our mouth taught them what was right, our ears heard the right information for them our life modeled God to them. Because we were successful and rightly mentored our children, it wasn’t difficult for them to succeed as well. We had no secret to hide and there was no scandal. Our children never saw us beat their mother or use abusive words on her while they never saw us stole money or run after campus girls. We neither slept with prostitutes nor raped micro-mini wearing ladies.
And men became boys………………………..watch out next week.