Being a working mother is a tough job, this particular woman lives in Ikeja G.R.A environs, tries to get home early enough from work, but her daughter usually gets home before her and waits at the security post for “mummy” to come. One day, mummy comes home a little earlier than normal, instead of seeing the 6yr old daughter waiting patiently outside the security post, she notices the girl coming out of the security post, and the security guard rushing out shortly after. Mummy, filled with worry, concern and “this can’t be possible”, decides to pull up her daughters gown… yeah, you guessed it. All over her thighs was the guards semen. Mummy could not contain her rage and anguish at the stack horror she had just unveiled, this had been going on for months. The average Nigerian mother feels it right to send away the guard and cover the shame, not this mother. She took it up legally, in fact what I know is as related by a judge. The guard is alive and well, and back to his normal life. He got away with it!
Nobody likes to be a laughing stock, and for the fear of being laughed at, many of us adults learned to keep our mouths shut. We even devised a proverb around it – better to be thought foolish and quiet, than to open our mouth and erase all doubt. This little 5yr old girl confided in her mum -“Mummy, Uncle Victor chucked pin in my bum bum”. Mummy laughed it off hilariously, and the little girl withdrew and kept quiet. She had not been educated to pronounce the word “penis” and said pin. Uncle Victor, continued to chuck pin in her bum bum for another 7yrs, and… He got away with it!
I’m sure you have heard more horrible stories. Of a 5 months old baby who stopped eating regular food because the houseboy has been getting a blow job from the baby as replacement for his feeding bottle. Of a 16yr old girl that has aborted 11 times already. Of preys of the high and mighty politicians. Of students bending over for their Fs to become Cs. Of children who serve and are served to the “Pastor” before he delivers. Of uncles, cousins, brothers, fathers, drivers, teachers, pastors, cooks and gardeners who prey on helpless, harmless children. There is a disturbing lot in the arena of child abuse, that time won’t permit me today to delve into the not so child abuse perpetrated by men, masquerading themselves as “of God” – So called “Pastors” turning their female congregation into a golf course. All these people have something in common, in their search for personal pleasure, they leave victims in their shadows, wreck emotional havoc to homes, shatter family ties… and all, get away with it!
Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the heart of the children of man is fully set to do evil. – Ecclesiastes 8:11 (English Standard Version)
Because punishment for an evil work comes not quickly, the minds of the sons of men are fully given to doing evil. (Bible in Basic English)
People naturally perpetrate evil, when the window of delay in punishment is created, or the consequences of evil is not clear. Of course, I know that predators were once preys, and the cyclic nature of this madness, but as long as the sentence against this deed is not made grave and sudden, all we are likely to ever run, is commentaries. People need to stop getting away with it!
These problems have been attacked from many angles in the past, and all these angles are great angles. In fact if anything, we need to form bigger alliances, create pressure groups and take the fight against this scourge to a new and bigger level. The consequences for the abused are too grave not to have as a society serious minded involvement in this cause. Away with NGOs whose major motivations for doing anything is where funding will come. This cause needs hearts bleeding with passion, forged by the fires of actual or near experiences, and steadied by the reality of being surrounded by children that one truly loves. The child abused in Kaduna today, can be the teacher of your grand daughter or son. We are all united by this web of life, and owe it to ourselves to rid our society of it’s devils in our generation.
What must we immediately do?
1. Form a Mega volunteer force to tackle this social ill. Register volunteers and devise action plan.
2. Meet and split into units along the following areas – Education and Enlightenment (For Children, For Teachers, For Parents, For Predators), Help-lines (linking the abused or the predator with professional help), Media (creating social awareness with leverage), Advocacy and Law (Ensuring adequate punishment for ills, sponsoring bills)
3. Development and Execution of key projects like – Stigmatization of Predators, Pedophile history database management, Healing for the abused, e.t.c.
It’s amazing how the informal statistics for % of women with history of abuse stands at a towering over 70%. Out of 200 prostitutes inverviewed, 100% were sexually abused as children. If you have a passion for this, and you are ready to be involved, let’s do it. Yes we can!
I have got in touch with Praise Fowowe, who has been leading a cause on this for the last 5yrs by writing in the papers, publishing on his website and going all over the country. It’s great we do what we have been doing at bigger scales, but it’s high time people stop getting away with it. Let the society be informed anytime a pedophile is in their neigbourhood, let pastor predators be made public, let lecturers be stigmatized, let the punishments be grave and sudden.