Hahahaha…If you know the answer then I think the floor is yours. I remember Mel Gibson’s movie titled “what women want”, the answer according to the film was “mind readers!”. To be able to answer that question according to the film, you need to have gone through some kind of experience that makes you able to read ladies’ thoughts. But is that really true? Are women really that complex? In case you are wondering if this is any of your business, let me quickly remind you a few cogent facts.
1. It’s not only men that ask, what do women want 🙂 Some women wonder what other women want as well, women get along more with men (true?). (Women here is used generally for girls, ladies and women)
2. Whoever you are, it’s either you have women as customers, colleagues, direct reports or superiors. If you don’t know what they want, you might be getting fried 🙂
3. Most retail customers are women, most advert critics are women, remove football from TV’s and it’s women’s. Women have a lot to do with corporate thinking.
4. If you are a guy, you spend the greater part of your waking moments (and even sleeping moments for most 🙂 thinking about women. I once saw someones representation of the masculine brain 🙁 – Don’t ask for it!
Haven established that we all have genuine reasons to ask the vital question, I’ll also point it out that success at times requires being able to answer it. Before someone accuses me of generalizing and categorically saying that all women want one particular thing, please be very clear that this is not an attempt to put all women into one box and label the box (sexist or chauvenist), No way! I’m yet to meet the man that will successfully put one into a box, let alone all.
First of all, we all have wants and needs, male or female. Men are from pluto and woman from mars 🙂 but when you break it down, all our needs can be plotted on Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs. Wants however are a little more specific. If you openned this blog thinking eureka, at last, some man has come to demystify what women want, you are kidding 🙂 Women know what women want, and if they can be kind enough, they can push in their comments here to give us an idea.
Here are some things that I believe will help make the women in your life less complex.(you can have many in your life, but I don’t think you are entitled to more than one for keeps 🙂 – Just as she is not entitled to more than one too – balanced 🙂 )
1. There are somethings you need not worry about in this life. One of them the things you can’t change. Your looks, your height, your general physical features aren’t going to change much, live with them, and get comfortable with you. The second are things you can change for good, change them, don’t worry about them. Anybody who wants what you can’t change would learn to live with it. (with it, not with you :))
2. Contrary to popular belief, women pay more attention to your attitudes and personality than your appearance. I said more attention, didn’t give you liscence to dress like a masqurade and smell like the latrine :). You need to be well groomed and appear tight, but you need to pay equal attention to your attitude. Women feel more than men, and they are more likely to read what you didn’t say louder than what you did say. You’ll make a better impression by projecting your good personality than projecting your good appearance.
3. How you speak may be impressive, but it’s how you listen that interests. The most important way to get a lady’s interest, is to show interest in what intrests them, ask questions, listen generously, let them speak, and they’ll believe that you are interesting. Women have a great need to express themselves, helping them do this in a non threatening way meets both a need and a want.
4. Listen, but make sure all you do is not just listening :). You need to show some clear independence, else you’ll be taken for granted and what started all bright and dandy will end up dim and sour. Express your opinions in collaboration, while showing that you have a life of your own. Highlight similarities in her experiences and yours, yes keep the focus on her but let her see the variety in yours. Once it begins to appear that you can drop everything you are doing to listen, and begin to behave like the world rotates around her, it begins to look like depedency. Women (99.9% of the time) do not want this
5. Don’t speak negative about others, it raises red flags -“he who tells me of others will tell others of me”. If you do, no names, just someone I know. Women love confidentiality, don’t rat(tell).
Well, I’m sure the women folk can help us out from here, I’ve spent most of my time around women and am comfortable around them, believe me, I know some of these things…at least a little. Some men too have encyclopedia on these, lets develop a “how to” manual :).
Luckily, you can choose to be kept aware of new posts on a topic you comment on from the comment box. So happy writing, happy reading!