Based on a comment I recieved on the intial article posted on overcoming inertia, I have decided to write a series that should further throw more light on the issue, and have the effect of helping people dare!
The best definition of unnecessary fear I have ever heard is the one that spells it out
F.E.A.R – False Evidence Appearing Real!
This means that any fear that stops you from daring is actually caused by something you think can happen that might not happen, something you fear is real but is actually false. In this article, I’ll try to address some general issues, and give some tips on how one can overcome inertia.
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”-Authors Details: Marianne Williamson
Popularly attributed to Mandela’s inaugural speech.
Fear of heights
I remember the first time I had to walk over a footbridge in Lagos. If there is a word stronger than fear – I was petrified! Perhaps mortified! I clung hard to the sides of my uncle, I couldn’t imagine walking across with my eyes opened. I believed so strongly that the foot bridge would give way and send me into the express beneath. How I loved life 🙂
This is a fear you perhaps never had, but it’s a basic one. A classical example of False
Evidence Appearing Real. I walked over the same bridge more than 100 times after that first time. What helped to overcome the fear? The basic things that will help you in any
circumstance. The things you thought about the first time will always be possible, but you’ll make up your mind that it will not wait for you to climb before it happens. You’ll convince yourself of the facts of physics and you’ll trust the builders. You’ll just do it the first time, and by the time you are walking there the third, fourth time, it’s normal. The bridge will not change, the realities will not change, but you will.
Fear of Starting your own business
Fear of resigning to start your own business. Yeah, this is a potent fear. The fear that glues you to work you don’t enjoy, the fear that keeps you going back with no motivation. This is a real fear, whether we admit it or not. It also has within it the elements of the fear of failure. The questions underneath this fear come in different forms. Are you ready? Can you stand on your own? What will you be eating? Do you have enough money to survive for 3 months? What about people more skilled than you? What are my chances? Is this environment conducive for business? The list of questions as of excuses are without limit. And they are real. But just like the fear of heights, the only thing that needs to change is in you. No matter how well argued your points are, there are too many people succeeding in business today who don’t know half of what you are sure of.
Fear of public speaking
This is reputed to be the greatest fear in the world. Seconded by the fear of death. In literal terms it means the guy giving the farewell speech in a burial ceremony would rather be the one in the coffin 🙂 The fear of public speaking is a real fear. It’s the reason why someone is an extrovert at home and an introvert out of home.
The easy cure for the fear of public speaking though is “to be afraid and still speak”. The little butterfly tingle in your stomach might be there to stay, the first experiences you’ll have will not make matters better, but if you desire to be a successful speaker confidence grows with action. You’ve go to just simply freaking do it!
It helps to join a speaker’s forum, like toastmasters, Fela’s speakers’ corner, Niyi Adesanya’s Speakers forum or 180 degrees volunteer team, whatever- Joining a group that gives you speaking opportunities helps. I have spoken in so many places for so long, that what I think about is not fear, but impact! It didn’t start today, I started speaking really early -Debates, Drama’s, Memory Verses, e.t.c. These are good places to start early.