I’m currently very far away from home, so I have the privilege of doing this without my wife being able to see me and influence me against this…lol
Someone actually called me to congratulate me and stylishly inquire if my wife traveled with me to Dubai in my visit a little over a month ago, as far as he was concerned, the news of the delivery proved him right that I went alone. Well I didn’t, she was there with me, in Dubai, South Africa, and everywhere but silently behind the scene.
Maybe if I was at home writing this, a little flavor of flattery could score me some points, but I’m too far away for it to matter, so read what I’m about to say carefully, it’s the truth and it might indeed bless your life.
My very close friends have come to know something about me, that most of my ardent readers don’t. If you think I am a great guy, a wonderful person, a promising young man or anything close to an Angel, if you think well of me, even if slightly, then I must let you know this – After God, I owe most of it to my wife. She is a pillar of strength and reassurance. As the most influential human in my life, I have gotten so far, because she has made my life so uncomplicated. In case you are wondering how this young lady I saw 17yrs ago, asked to marry me 10yrs ago and finally led to the altar 4yrs ago has moved me forward… read on… 🙂
I’ll try to bullet point it, so the learning can be concise, as you know, a man could get long winded when it concerns matters of the heart. I really want people to learn from this so I’ll be straight to the point.
1. She believed/s in me. It’s easy to believe in a finished product, but it takes long term thinking and faith to see potentials in raw materials. I look back at 10yrs ago, when we started out on a relationship, and I can tell you firmly, that I don’t think she believed in me less then than she does now. Back then, I had a pair of shoes and a shirt you could describe me by, you didn’t have to know my name, just mention the shirt or the shoes…lol. My wife agreed and supported me to let go of my high paying salaried job and hug my dreams. Wives and ladies, believe in your men. When you believe, the voice of the noisy negatives and wrong majority matters not. Our ideas may sound stupid, don’t focus your belief in the ideas, believe in us.
2. She married me early.
“Columbia University sociologist Ely Ginzberg published a related study in which he had followed up for some fifteen years a large group of medical school graduates. Over that period of time all of the doctors studied had achieved a considerable amount of professional success. Ginzberg found that one of the strongest and least expected predictors of career success was the age at which a doctor had married. Most Americans have long operated under the ascetic assumption that one of the sacrifices a person must make in order to become a medical doctor is that of delayed marriage. NOT SO, according to Ginzberg’s findings.
Ginzberg divided the doctors up into thirds in terms of how successful they were fifteen years after graduation from medical school. There was the most successful one-third, the least successful one-third, and the third that was in the middle in terms of career success. In a nutshell, the most successful one-third had married earliest in life, whereas the least successful one-third had married latest. Indeed, several of the least successful one-third had not married at all, whereas none of the most successful one-third had remained unmarried Moreover, a majority of the most successful doctors had married while they were still in their junior or senior year of undergraduate work, or while they were in their first two years of medical school training
Of course, early marriage does not assure strong interpersonal skills. However, the evidence from the research of Jencks, Ginzberg, and many others, strongly suggests that early, successful heterosexual interaction does lead to the kind of social skills and social self-confidence that is as valuable in the world of employment as it is within the context of an individual’s personal life.”
Many young men claim to want to enjoy or experience life a little more before they commit to a lifelong relationship. Some claim that career success is stifled by the responsibilities of marriage. On the contrary however, even the millionaires mindsets’ analysis of millionaires associates early successful marriages as one of the common traits of the wealthy. Guys stop wasting your youthful years sowing wild oats. Remember you will reap everything you sow.
3. She doesn’t put me under pressure. I’m not working so hard because I need to work so hard to meet my wife’s needs! She doesn’t want anything, and not because I have given her everything I think she needs. For 3yrs in our marriage, I traveled and saw a good portion of the world, my wife never left Nigeria and never put me under any pressure to take her out. When I cut out of paid employment, my top of the range monthly salary became 10% of what I was used to earning. She never complained once. I had nothing but her support and encouragement. I honestly cannot remember anytime in my life when I had to worry about looking for money to get my wife anything she has made abundantly clear she needed. I currently work so hard to ensure that since she doesn’t put me under pressure she reaps all the pleasures I can afford.
4. She doesn’t take me for granted. There is a way you become common in someone’s eyes when you have seen the person finish…(when you know the person inside out). Familiarity they say breeds contempt. People who were once valuable in our sights, we get close to them, and they reduce in value in our sights and we lose the connection that made them a blessing to us. Is it not Adeolu Akinyemi, he was my boy in Secondary school… e.t.c. On the contrary, my wife regularly makes me feel like a super star, and trust me, the worlds boo or praise pale into insignificance besides the perceptions of the ones we love and respect. Ladies… if the distant world show more respect for your husbands than you do, you might soon lose him and be the distant one. Celebrate your hero.
5. She doesn’t bash my ego. My wife is not into the competition of “who won the argument with me”. She doesn’t want to win at all cost. Too many times after the fact, I discover I was wrong and she was right, she doesn’t rub it in. All men have egos and trust me, it’s not about being right or being wrong, the way it’s handled in such a way as not to bash the ego really counts. Many men have such fragile egos, they beat up their wives. Men are at different stages of their maturity walk and learning what feeds who’s ego can make the tail wag the dog.
6. She is extremely low on the nagging scale. There is nothing as pressuring and discomforting as consistent reminders about habits you can’t change in a day. Many men work late and extend their business travels, not because they are in love with their secretaries, but because they need some rest. Their wives are musicians with specialist skills in beating the drums… their ear drums. If there is one thing that my wife has nagged me about, it’s about me nagging…lol
7. She trusts me. I have a privilege most men do not have. I can safely be found behind locked doors with a lady, and my wife will believe what I say. I am trusted, and trust me, that makes being trustworthy a responsibility. There is nothing I do, that I hide from her. I asked her to trust me, and I ensure that I live up to my demands. She is not policing me all over the place, scrutinizing my relationships or acting detective through my text messages. She is a friend of all my friends and expects nothing but the highest of standards from me. If you can’t trust a guy, don’t marry him. If he cheats with you, he’ll likely cheat on you. Loan trust, and then ensure it is earned.
If you will be successful in Life, who you spend your life with matters 100% and when matters almost as much. I’m sure one lady somewhere will learn a thing of two from this, I hope some guy somewhere too. Maybe there are some things I am doing right as well that has gotten me so lucky to end up with this jewel of inestimable value, maybe u should check her blog for that…lol. Every time I think about my wife, I thank God, because I couldn’t have been so smart to know who was best for me. Guy- take out time to celebrate your wife/lady. I just did.