Well, guess if you are not an avid reader, you are pouring through this write-up eager to discover the darker shades of Adeolu Akinyemi :). And if you have been around, then you immediately know that that is the title of Sir Richard Branson’s book. A book that captured his escapades and teething pains as he built his business empire from his little strides publishing a magazine of some sort in college (secondary school) at the age of 16. He later went into a discount mail order joint venture with his friend Nik Powell, this venture became the origin of the Virgin Brand. There was a little something something about their house/ office then having to do with being a place you could “do it all”, and possibly loose your virginity, but then, you might have to really be looking for that type of information to find it in the book 🙂
Richard Branson is currently a world renown entrepreneurship icon with an insatiable desire for new businesses. In 1999 he was awarded a knighthood for his contributions in entrepreneurship. The Virgin Brand presently has over 300 items under its name, and is presently one of the most recognized brands in the world. Richard Branson is a person I like for many reasons, writing about him is a topic that would take at least 3 posts. But if you really thought about it, this article is not going to be about Richard Branson, it’s about the concept of loosing one’s virginity. It’s a valentine special.
Well, a lot of things are going to be happening today in the name of love, and that’s really not bad. People are going to call it fun, and don’t think it’s only the adults that are having this fun, teenagers too. As I write, the roads are getting blocked. People have been warming up for days. For girls that require 3 days working on, the work has been on since the day before. I teach teenagers and somehow I fear that for some of them, they might not be sharp enough to remain the same after today.
Some few years back, I had situations happening around me that aroused my curiosity to study the concept of virginity and the loss of it. I interviewed a lot of young ladies and read a number of books. I was able to come to terms with some interesting patterns for how people lost their virginity and hence how they can wait till the right time, or not. Knowledge is power and becomes good or evil depending on how it is used. Well, sorry if I’m bursting your bubble, but some of us belong to that old school that believes that there is a right time, and a right person.
Watchout for the Gals
The average girl looses her virginity to an older/more experienced guy. It happens between her age 16 and 20 if she wasn’t abused earlier in life. If she was, it’s a different story. It’s not that wide (meaning 16-20), really it’s just that different people are doing so many different things at that age. The particular activity that makes the average lady susceptible to this at this time is idleness. It’s that long break between being in school and being in school again, it’s that time in extra-moral classes, or it’s just after resuming into university and it seems there is not much to do. It’s that friend of my brother, that uncle, or that undefined friend – “we were not really going out, we just kissed a lot”. Or, he’s my boyfriend – and there is quite some years in between. Of course the relationship lasts until the excitement fades (He’s been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt). It also happens at times out a big quarrel that gets made up! The gal temporarily suspends the thought at the instance of the well crafted and scripted scene of, “I’ve caused a lot of pain already”. It happens at that age because at that age, she is curious and idle. Research also showed that more often than not, the girl said “No” at least once. It usually looks like the girl was raped – or at least arguably so. They start out with the girl comfortable with what the guy sees as foreplay, and things get out of hands. It usually takes place in a place where there is no one else to hear your shouts (even if you shouted), home alone with the guy, his house is in town when you are supposed to be in school, or he lives in quarters when you are supposed to be in the hostel. If you are way past the age, print this out for your younger sisters. If you had an almost experience that you think can be helpful to someone, do share.
Watchout for the Guys
The regular guy looses it between 13 and 18, and usually to an older girl (sometimes the house girl). At 13 which is like rounding up junior secondary, everybody seems to have done it. Everybody talks about it like they invented it. You join in the conversation too, so at least not to look stupid. You pick up books, magazines, videos e.t.c. whatever gives you the edge in the next debate and shows you to be a professional. You don’t want to look like a looser among the boys, and winning is not if you have, it’s how often. Of course, 80% of the cronies are just talking, but who knows! Somehow they constitute peer pressure for each other, and everybody is looking for that golden opportunity. They all lack the boldness to follow through on girls their age, so some get perverted and try things out on people way way below their league, some family! The others? Their opportunity comes sometime along the line, there is a jobless much older lady around the block or in your house that offers it to you on a platter of Gold – she’s bored, she can’t ask a guy her age, she sees you’re a snuggling lad and leads you to slaughterhouse. The average guy takes it and cuts his teeth in the world of insatiable pleasures. He begins to stalk his younger friends, and the cycle continues. Once you get into that first opportunity looking snare, it’s hard to pass. It looks like a game at the outset, but averagely, even marriage doesn’t quench the fires! Stolen waters is sweet, and as long as it’s legit, it doesn’t taste that sweet anymore – with you that is. You grow up wondering why you don’t have control, they tell you all men are like that, you live with it. You can’t remember where it all started… you can’t connect the dots. If you in this trouble go for help, that road leads into a ditch, and no matter how successful the career or how high the reputation, it’s all like a balloon, one little prick and it’s gone forever. If you’re past the age, forward it to those who are not, and if you were able to pass or not on your early opportunities you might have information that would be helpful.
I certainly am not an ultimate authority on these things, I’ve just been there for a number of people long enough, heard a lot of stories and deliberately gone out in search of the truth. If you have watch outs you consider helpful, lay them here.