Feeling a bit humourous this morning, and decided to share some lines. Maybe it’s the TGIF (Thank God it’s Friday) thing, but I’m in favour of a few good laughs. I’m sure some of these lines are not totally strange but my comments in italic are fresh 🙂
Dr. Lee Berk and fellow researcher Dr. Stanley Tan of Loma Linda University in California have been studying the effects of laughter on the immune system. To date their published studies have shown that laughing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscle flexion, and boosts immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gamma-interferon and B-cells, which produce disease-destroying antibodies. Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, and produces a general sense of well-being. Net Laughter is great therapy! You can extend this and make us laugh more, or if you have any jokes of your own…feel free to pour them in.
A Laugh a day, keeps the heart attack away – Anonymous
Ensure you have a good laugh today…and indeed everyday.
Strange but true
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
-A Little difference in your results counts.
Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
– This must be a management stalemate, promotion or termination, you need to be
replaceable 🙂
It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re
going to do.
– Particularly when you don’t intend going beyond the interview stage. Else you get the
job and you can’t do what you say you’ve done?
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did
before.
– It’s called Pakinsons Law. Expenditure naturally rises to meet income. To get
different, you need to act different.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
– Yeah, once you start taking crap in peices, get ready for wholesale.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, carry and open your laptop.
– You can try this now… 🙂
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about
themselves.
– Ha 🙂 Isn’t it great to be a boss? But believe me, every boss has a boss 🙂
There will always be beer cans rolling or something strange happening to your car when
the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
– Serendipity?
Rules For Career Success…
Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.
– Do this well, and you’ll grow fast.
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
– Obiageli? -Meaning I have come to chop
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
– 🙁
Anomalies
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he / she is supposed to be doing.
– Have you noticed?
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
– As in Blank Look-“that wasn’t there when I sent it, I already corrected all those
errors”
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will
get out of it.
– Are you that good?
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
– Did I hear you say “thank God for Last minutes?”. It’s not the best oh!
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that
person is carrying.
– This is why your boss usually asks for your pen. He needs to have one or none to
remain in authority.
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
– lol 🙂
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to
the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
– hypothetically… try it, you’ll be stunned it makes some sense
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that
goes wrong.
– That’s why it pays you to leave in style…let it take them years to bring your
reputation from hero to zero.
Some comments that bosses make…
Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
– That’s not good feedback…just in case you missed it, key word is challenged 🙂
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
– Heheheh… the fact that everyone does should mean you are not?
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
– Yeah that’s because I have no problem. Why don’t you try and pronounce that?
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
– What exactly are you trying to say? 🙂
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
– As an employee, if your boss says this, just let it sink 🙂
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
– Two shots!
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
– Dust your CV sis, this job is not going where we planned 🙂
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
– You’ll rarely hear this, you might just feel it 🙂
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
– In other words, in case you are wondering why I shout at you…
Great techniques for escaping impulsive work…
I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
– 😕
It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I’m really quite busy.
– Remember the line about walking fast and looking worried?
New Segment Emotional Recharge.
Want to know who was being me? Go to Image School
