It’s not all about you!

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Written by

Deolu Akinyemi

We have all somehow averagely gotten ourselves into a saddening grind. We take up jobs because it’s the best choice for us, we negotiate hard because we want to win,  we do deals because we need the money, we go to church because we want to be blessed, say long prayers for personal requests. It’s all about us, it’s all about what we want, who we want and when we want it. We want a better Nigeria because of ourselves, because of our children, we want good healthcare because we need it. In this saddening cycle of life, it’s all about us.  If you think deeply about it however, you will realize… it’s not all about you!

“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.” -Albert Einstein

The way life is wired, you cannot have true fulfillment or joy living life simply for yourself. You cannot be wealthy, cannot have a great marriage, you cannot enjoy career convergence living life at the level of “me, me, me”.  The best things in life are deliberately reserved by God for those who stretch beyond themselves.

1. Wealth

To whom does wealth come? Wealth comes to the person who will have compassion on the poor with it. Provision is pro-vision. Except vision is clear, provision does not come to support it. Those who pursue wealth for the sake of wealth seldom catch it! Those who pursue impact, adding value to the lives of others, or solving a societal problem, get wealth following after them. The great book says, seek first the kingdom of God and it’s righteousness, and all the other things you desire will be mere additions. The wealth of the universe is deposited in the hands of those who have mastered administration, those who are faithful in few are given bigger responsibilities. Your money is not your money, you ought to be a channel for the blessings you are receiving. Money was never meant to stop in your hands, that’s why it’s called currency, it’s meant to flow! You want wealth? It has to be about more than you!

“When I started eBay, it was a hobby, an experiment to see if people could use the Internet to be empowered through access to an efficient market. I actually wasn’t thinking about it in terms of a social impact. It was really about helping people connect around a sphere of interest so they could do business” – Pierre Omidyar

2. Balanced Success

Nobody in their dying hour ever wishes he won more awards, spent more time at work, or got promoted to become CEO. The most valuable things in life, are the most valuable things at the point of death. They are the big rocks in our lives that will not find any place in our lives, if we miss the opportunity to give them first place. On people’s death beds, their greatest regrets are usually in the areas of showing more love, treating people better, giving more to the world, leaving a legacy and spending more time with loved ones. In the final analysis, the best life to live, is that expended in the service, love and care for others. All men from the ageless past are in pursuit of immortality. Nobody wants to leave the earth with footprints that are erasable, everybody wants their memories to linger, for their quotes to be remembered, for their lives to touch another in unforgettable ways. You want balanced success? Then it’s got to be about more than you.

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.”- Anthony Robbin

3. Transcendence

The highest level of human existence is not existence, survival, living above average nor even succeeding! The highest level of life, way up in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is transcendence. Transcendence needs are the 8th level of human needs, and it’s a desire to help others achieve self actualization. This means if you see someone who is worried about himself or herself alone, it’s someone who is still struggling with more fundamental challenges. The peak in life is the place where your desire is how many people you can add value to. Interestingly however, pushing others up also takes you up. Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot hide it from themselves. One of the sure fire methods of becoming successful, is committing yourself to other people’s success. I’m sure there are people you have as role models and positive examples. The reason why you like them and love them, is because they are on a path that makes them add value to others. What value are you adding to others? If you suddenly disappeared from your neighborhood, who will notice? Someone in an office I once worked went home, slumped and died on Friday and it was only discovered on Monday that she had died. Someone else died and many in her neighborhood are grieved because of so many promises from her that their lives were hanging  on to. You want to reach the peak of personal development, you must aspire to be a blessing to more than yourself.

“Do some selfless service for people who are in need. Consider the whole picture, not just our little selves”. – Nina Hagen

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