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How to live past the past

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“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” – John 8:7 (The Bible)

The above statement, though having it’s origin in the words of Jesus Christ, has become an idiomatic expression in english language and is listed amongst regular phrases. It means to be the first to attack a sinner. While the concept behind the reason it was used is very interesting, I’ll like to look at the statement from a different side.

In the particular event described above, everybody at the scene of what would have turned out to be a stoning event culminating in killing an adultress, walked away. One by one they dropped their stones and left. Why? They left because the statement underscores one reality – Everybody has a past! No matter at what point we are at today, all of us have things that we did or happened to us, that still send shivers down our spines. We all have pasts! Pasts that have the capacity to rid us of our beautiful futures, pasts that hunt us, pasts that if we don’t render powerless, have untold power to paralyse our forward resolve. We can’t steer our way into the future carrying the baggage of past mistakes or mishaps. Our past doesn’t have to limit our future.

Holding on to the past has a way of slowing down the arrival of one’s desired future. The good past should not be so exciting that it becomes the enemy of a better future, neither should the bad past linger so long that it clouds present options. We need to deliberately manage our pasts as we match on confidently to live the life of our dreams.

“Learn the past, watch the present and create the future” – Anonymous

The only value in the past are the lessons from it. What did I do well, what didn’t I do well? What can you do better, where did you err? What was your fault, what wasn’t? Those who do not learn from the past, are likely to repeat it. Like wine, we mature with time, who you are today is the summation of all your experiences. Aging is uncounsious, growth is not. About the past, learn the lessons, forget the details. Like J.F Kennedy said – “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

“Every saint has a past, and every sinner a future” – Oscar Wilde

Don’t be too hard on yourself. In the final analysis you have a past and a future. You are not any different from all others. Don’t loose yourself mourning or getting aggravated over what you can’t change, you are human and everybody has their share. Deal with it and move on. The future belongs to those who believe in the power of their dreams. Relinquish your anger of the past, the more angry you are about the past the more difficult it would be to love in the present. When you forgive another, the real person you free is you.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Alva Edison

Don’t stop because it didn’t work out before, reset your strategies and try again another way. Tell yourself today will be a better day. Don’t give up. Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we respond to it. Don’t let the fears you developed from your past halt your confident strides towards your future. We loose the battle first in our minds before we do in reality. Don’t change the rules, don’t change your ideals to suit what seems possible. Don’t give up! What ever it is, shall come to pass.

Adeolu Akinyemi

Adeolu Akinyemi

13 thoughts on “How to live past the past”

  1. Don Thieme
    January 14, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    This also shows much of what was revolutionary about Christianity as well as the other “universal” religions – Buddhism and Islam. Practiced authentically, they put the responsibility upon each of us for practicing the traditions of our community or for rejecting those traditions if they are incompatible with our faith.

    Reply
  2. 'NIYI AJAYI
    January 15, 2007 at 9:49 am

    Thanks for this.I link this with the word of paul”FORGETTING THE THINGS IN THE PAST …………….,.
    .

    Reply
  3. Bayuze
    January 15, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Donโ€™t give up! What ever it is, shall come to pass. Amen to that!

    Good post, Deolu, good post!

    Reply
  4. oLUYEMI aDEOSUN
    January 16, 2007 at 8:23 am

    Thanks for sharing this insight with us. This is the Gospel truth. i like how JESUS ended the court proceedings. He said, “Go and sin no more” . it is so reassuring to know that we are empowered to live right and achieve greatness.
    Oluyemi Adeosun

    Reply
  5. oluwakorede
    January 16, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Another isightful piece sir, Weldone!
    just confused with the title LEAVE or LIVE?

    Reply
  6. Stephen Ojji
    January 16, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    TRUTH SIR! The good past should not be so exciting that it becomes the enemy of a better future, neither should the bad past linger so long that it clouds present options.

    Reply
  7. Gbubemi
    January 16, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    For a long time, my mind was held captive by my past. I’m not sure when it happened but I do know that eventually, I realised that my past must work together with my present to create my future. Everybody has a story, and the beauty of that story lies in how God used those “unsightly” events in our lives to make us who we are now. If you take a look at Jesus’ lineage, you will see a lot of people you would never expect to see as fore runners of the Messiah. Remember King David? He had a past as well but God used it for His glory.

    Reply
  8. Deji Olatunde
    January 18, 2007 at 4:43 am

    Good piece Deolu.

    The past can either a spring board or a pit filled with quicksand. It is up to us to decide what we make of it.

    Lewis Carroll said “Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.” I think one good way of dealing with the past is to identify purpose in it. The moment we are able to do this, we will find out two things:

    1. Our hearts will be filled with gratitude to God for allowing us go through those “ugly” experiences

    2. We will realise that we did not go through those experiences by mistake. We went through them on purpose.

    Well done. Keep up the good job!

    Deji

    Reply
  9. 'Fiyinfoluwa
    January 20, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    I’ll start from the last line of Korede’s post. Both LEAVING and LIVING are correct in my own opinion. It depends on what you want to do with your past. We all have pasts (that’s a too common saying) but when we hear this, what does our mind go to? Most times, the bad past. There are folks who have turned out bad now and they remember that they used to have very beautiful pasts before things turned the way they are with them now. For me, such could LIVE their past if re-living it will help them make something better of their lives.

    As for LEAVING, this is encouraged when the past is really dwarfing the present and may or would most likely injure the future. But as always, the choice is also left to the affected to make. He could choose to LIVE that bad past.

    Between LEAVING and LIVING is a thing line which can be emboldened depending on what the affected chooses.

    Reply
  10. Adeolu Akinyemi
    January 21, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    @All – Live past the past… good or bad…

    Reply
  11. Kamal
    March 16, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    I have read or heard so many choice words from Oscar Wilde but I think the one above is the best in my own estimate; I have been there and I know what it means when you say that there is a message in every mess.
    Let’s live without thinking of the past that is already in the tomb, there is a future of untold glory.

    Reply
  12. Felix
    March 27, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    This feels good for the soul…

    Reply
  13. OMOZELE
    May 13, 2009 at 11:08 am

    the past has a way of beclouding ones today and a glorious tommorrow.if its a past failure, it can be very harmful because it instills fear into its carrier and the person doesnt feel confident in himself. if its a past failure, it can be a limitation because the person thinks that no better thing can come out of him. the only advise is to allow the past remain in th past.draw out lessons from it but one must move to a better today and the future.

    Reply

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