Fear is rarely as powerful as it feels.
What gives fear its strength is vagueness.
Fear thrives in unanswered questions.
In blurry “what ifs.”
In imagined disasters we never slow down to examine.
One of the simplest ways to conquer fear is this:
force it into the details.
Let me explain with a story from my own life.
2006: When Fear Felt Real
In 2006, nineteen years ago now, I had what most people would call a good life.
I had a solid job.
I was earning well for my age and stage.
I was a senior manager, and at the time, likely the youngest manager in the organisation.
I had already worked with a company ranked among the top 100 in the world in America, and I had made a deliberate career move into another organisation where I handled talent and learning.
From the outside, things looked settled.
But on the inside, something kept stirring.
I felt it was time to move into entrepreneurship. To build something of my own. To start a consulting practice.
And the moment I made that decision, fear showed up.
The Fear Was Loud, But It Was Not Specific
I was afraid.
Afraid of leaving a steady income.
Afraid of going from earning well to earning zero.
Afraid of the unknown.
The fear did not say anything intelligent.
It simply kept repeating one sentence:
“What if it doesn’t work?”
That question haunted us because we never answered it.
Clarity Entered Through Conversation
When I shared the idea with my wife, she surprised me.
She said,
“Why do you have to resign? Let me resign. I’ll do the work. You’ll guide me at night. Let’s do it together.”
At the time, my income was higher than hers, and that made this approach feel like a safer way to start. We agreed. The business began, and for three months, things went well.
Then I knew it was time.
I needed to resign.
The Moment We Faced the Fear Properly
When I raised it again, she was honest.
“This is a big risk,” she said.
“And it’s scary.”
So instead of arguing with fear, we did something different.
We broke it down.
I asked a simple question:
“What is the worst that can happen?”
We did not rush the answer.
We thought it through.
Worst case scenario:
• No work comes.
• No money flows.
• We are stranded.
Okay.
Then I asked the second question, which fear hates even more:
“If that happens, what do we do?”
And suddenly, clarity began to appear.
Fear Shrinks When You Give It an Exit Plan
We realised something important.
If things truly fell apart:
• I could take my wife and child back to Ilorin.
• Our family was there.
• We knew how to farm.
• They would be fed.
• They would be safe.
I would stay back in Lagos.
Hustle.
Sleep wherever I could.
Keep pushing.
I told her,
“If I hustle hard for one year, something will break. If it doesn’t, I’ll get another job, come back for you, and we continue life.”
When we laid it all out, something unexpected happened.
The fear lost its power.
The Worst Case Was Not the End of the World
The truth became obvious.
The worst-case scenario was uncomfortable.
It was humbling.
But it was not fatal.
We would survive.
We would adapt.
We would recover.
Fear had exaggerated the danger because it was undefined.
Once we defined it, fear shrank.
This Is the Secret Fear Doesn’t Want You to Know
Fear feeds on imagination, not facts.
The moment you:
• slow down
• ask honest questions
• map out real outcomes
• create a recovery plan
Fear loses its grip.
Most of the things we are afraid of are not disasters.
They are temporary setbacks with solutions.
How to Conquer Fear in Simple Terms
If you want to conquer fear, do this:
1. Name it clearly
Stop saying “I’m just scared.” Ask, “Scared of what, exactly?”
2. Define the worst case
Not emotionally. Practically.
3. Create a response plan
Even a rough one is enough.
4. Decide if the risk is survivable
Most times, it is.
Fear does not disappear because you are brave.
It disappears because you are clear.
Final Thought
Fear lives in the vague.
Courage lives in the details.
If something is frightening you today, don’t run from it.
Sit with it.
Spell it out.
Break it down.
You may discover, like I did, that the thing you were most afraid of is not nearly as powerful as it seemed.
And that clarity is often all the courage you need.
