I’m taking a detour from the regular “Did you? series”, to talk about something really fresh that I have learnt in the last 8 days. I’m tempted to go directly into the topic I want to share about, but I know it is right I lay a preamble to it.
For 8 days stretch, just after recovering on a hackers attack on my website, I lost my voice! You might not understand the gravity of losing one’s voice, I did. I did not have a cold, a cough or even a sore throat, I just discovered that the loudest I could go was the mimicry of a ladies high pitched voice. I could not be heard over the phone, I could not speak to three people let a lone a crowd, I was bothered. I had varied recommendations from different people about what to do and I was virtually open to all, honey, lemon, lime, lozenges, vitamin C e.t.c. If someone had recommended Viagra, I might have tried it out ๐
The day’s went by one by one, I traveled out of the country for a while, hoping that by the time I returned I’ll be well rested, as that was a prescription I found hard to take. While all these was happening, I realized the value of my voice, and saw how in reality, next to my brain, my voice was next in the line in terms of my assets. At some points I wondered, was God asking me to shut up? What did He require of me? Have I obeyed his last command? Did he want me to write a book? I negotiated with God, if you could restore my voice, I will do this, I will do that… the voice didn’t come. I prayed, and was open to divine direction and there was something he dropped in my heart, “I put people in strange circumstances for many reasons, but principally because I want them to learn and know, remember Nebuchadnezzar?”. He then asked me to learn what I can, in this season when I could not speak out. I learnt a few things, and you might not need to go through the same experience again to learn.
1. I thought I knew how valuable my voice was, I realized that I didn’t. I had to miss so many engagements and appointments, just because I couldn’t even communicate. I had to pass on many phone calls, refuse to make many, and lose quite some money and time, just because of my voice loss. There was so much research I did about voice loss, online and offline that I did in the last 8 days that I have never done. If this happens to me ever again or to anybody else I know, I now know a 5 minutes solution (maybe I should put it in a sachet and sell it). There are many things that you and I think we know, we only get to truly know them when they are put to the test. Does it not amaze you, that after full semesters or terms of teaching and training, it always ends with a test? Does it also not amaze you, that it is when we pass those tests, that we are actually qualified for the next class? That’s the same way it is in life, whatever you think you know, or have, or represent, needs to be tested to qualify you for the next class. Until you are tested, the term continues. Prepare for the tests of life, they are tests you cannot afford to fail.
2. The needy are vulnerable! We who have need to be honest and forthright with those in need, we need to be genuine in our quest to help, because all advice is good for one in need. Like I said earlier, I would have been willing to try a number of options so far they were not outrightly against my values. I also learnt the importance of values, they are the things that keep you straight or going on when you are in deep trouble. It also shows that we need to surround ourselves with good people, just in case our season of vulnerability comes. I know of not a few ladies for example who have been raped by people they were vulnerable to, he’s a good guy but he does this and that… be very careful.
3. I learnt by experience that silence is golden. Have you every known the answer and not be able to say it? Or engage in an argument with someone with a louder voice than yours? Or have an opinion that doesn’t get heard. These are sample’s of times you wish you could speak out. I had many occasions like this in the course of the week, and one thing I saw quite clearly that the ability to know, to be able to speak and keep silent is another level of wisdom. I didn’t keep quite by choice at these times, I kept quite because I had to, but the feeling of maturity and wisdom that I got from not saying a word is truly golden. There is a lot to learn from the people around you, if you can just keep shut enough to get them to air their opinions. Stop terrorizing people with your charisma and leadership skills, shut up and let another speak. My silence gave me an opportunity to truly listen, to be silent and offer not many suggestions. I think it’s a worthwhile exercise to do, “I will keep silent a little extra today”. That is for us that know to speak, those that keep silent perpetually don’t know what they’ve lost.
4. I learnt the solution to having a great voice. While all the episode continued, I feared that I would use all things, and not know exactly what the solution was or what the problem was. Thankfully however, it did not happen like this. Once I got the solution, it took less than 5 minutes for my throat to clear. Right now, my voice is so rich, I’m thinking I probably might now be able to sing :). It took a long process to get to the solution, but once it’s done, it’s done. I learnt that all solutions to problems came at a price, that’s why we currently pay for them.
5. I learnt that God does not only own all that I have, he owns me and he owns my voice. I thought I knew this as well, but in the process of this voice loss, I had to remind myself that it was not mine, but God’s. I actually got to the point of looking at worst case scenarios and seeing that it was never mine, and reassuring myself that if my voice ceased, then God was saying I should write, that he wanted focus. Stewardship is so interesting, it let’s you know quickly, that you don’t own anything, and everything you have is safe and secured because they are God and he gives them as his privilege. I realized so far I was at peace with him, I have no cause to be alarmed.
6. I learnt the value of communication in anger management. I saw how my temper fuse was rising in times that I could not express myself. I saw a vital communication, that people who got angry very easily are usually people who cannot express themselves properly. I drew the extreme and could see easily why the dumb get aggressive. Tell me who wouldn’t be angry when he/she sees that the other party does not understand but is not armed with the words to make it clear. I saw that a very easy cure to temper tantrums was to develop good communications skills. If you can say it clearly, you wouldn’t have to boil over it.
These are a few things that I learnt in this season, now my voice is back with a plus! I have resumed normal life and started speaking again. There was a project I had on hold for a while, voicing some topics on deoluakinyemi.com and expanding them for a larger audience. I’m embarking on this ASAP, now that I know the value of being able to speak? What do you have that you have not valued enough to utilize? Have you valued it? I give thanks to God, the giver of life, for the privilege of diction, unction and erudition. Thanks for giving me my voice back with a bang, for if the lord does not build the house, the builders labor in vain.
23 thoughts on “What Silence Taught Me.”
Its wonderful to know you are ok now .
I also thank God for you that the whole experience has turn to a testimony now, it has been a period of of thorough reflection and now we are all benefitting from what you’ve learnt.
God is your source and strenght, He will never leave you nor forsake you, He will not let you dash your foot against the stone as you continue to obey His leading and live your life for His Glory. You are blessed my Brother, now your voice is back with a plus, the world is waiting for the extra impact of the plus, hmmmmm i thank God i will be a direct partaker of this plus too, remain blessed and see you soon
I rejoice with you Bros. and thank GOD 4 making u pass thru it successfully, even though i got to know thru this post…
A lesson to learn: So many seeemingly little(normal) things taken for granted… aren’t actually little…
It takes seeing thru ‘out of space-time’ perspective to discern this..
arrrgghhh… my opportunity to cream from being your voice has slipped… lol ๐
Its good to have you, sorry your voice back.
God did not create anything worthless, at times like this he leaves us to discover its worth, now i know better, welcome back.
Yeah I remember in the bank, we could not identify your voice and that was funny………..glad your voice is back……
Enjoy….
Good to know you’re doing better. When i started to read the feed I felt a fright which i had not felt in a long time. You are one of our generation’s leadling lights and may God continue to use you to better our lot (lol)! Take it easy o…you know how sometimes you think you’re in top shape while your body’s screaming HELP. Biko…easy on yourself.
I hope you’re also not upset I couldn’t even drop in to say hello while i was around. I kept jumping from one end of Lagos to the other delivering messages and trying to recoup “gbeses” here and there most to no avail. Please bear in mind that we need to work on that book we discussed before you lose that voice again…lol. Stay blessed
Mo
Dear brother,
What a way to learn that silence is golden!
You know I learnt this from a female friend but I have found it difficult to practice.
Ego is at the forefront of this shotcoming of this verbal diarhea(I hope that is the correct spelling).
Our ego wants us to practice our communicating skills,throw newly acquired vocabs etc.
Do you believe that generally women know more because they listen more.Any wonder women are becoming choice materials for presidents?(I hope Obama beats Mrs Clinton though).
This your write up should serve as a reminder that I should talk less,listen and learn more.I hope Mr. ego allows
This is interesting as in the last week I have really been pondering on the story of the Walls of Jerico, how Joshua was instructed to lead the people round the walls of Jerico, no one was to utter a word and on the last day they had to walk round these walls 7 times in silence. It dawned on me that silence is very hard to practice compared to speaking. But there is a time for everything a time to keep quiet and a time to shout or speak. May we all be able to recognise the times and be silent.
Thank you sir as this article has opened my eyes to see that I don’t own my tongue I should be able to put it under when necessary or else someone greater can do that for me. I thank God for his continous love towards you as he continues to package you for your glorious future. Stay on top.
What a valuable experience. I recently learned from Watchman Nee (The Spiritual Man series) that many times, we ought to restrain ourselves and speak out only when we ought to, as the Spirit of God directs.
We are often influenced by ego and self-respect when we express our opinions rather than by true desire to inform and empower people. We must learn to often perform a root-cause and value-chain analysis of our actions and reactions prior to execution and expression.
However, we also ought to be pro-active when opportunity beckons. Jesus is the greatest example of proactiveness. He often challenged the status quo armed with facts and revelation.
An interesting and informing reading by Louis Farrakhan available at Jesus: The Guide for the Public Servant
Hi deolu,
Nice post. Really, nothing should be taken for granted. Thank God for little blessings. Keep up the good work!!!
N.B. Can I be really cheeky, your heading should have been ‘what silence taught me’. The ‘thought’ you used there is for thinking and not teaching. Just thought to let u know so u can correct it. Have a great evening.
So, when are you going to write the book? Who knows, it might be God’s calling…. oe perhaps another project in the offing
Ade,
Thanks, corrected
Your voice… Interesting. I have 2 questions for you:
If you were Obama right now and you had this challenge, what will you have done?
on the other hand, if he has the challenge now and comes to your for advice, what will you tell him (sneak preview into the solution that will work in 5 mins)
Every problem is purpose driven.Thank God you were able to discover it.
Keep up the good work.
Ben Ohio.
this is my first time of reading your site. Truly to talk is silver, to be quiet is gold. Thank God for making you learn from your situation.You’ve blessed some1-me. Thanx a lot
welcome back!
It is wonderful to learn from your experience. I hope people will make use of what they learnt from your experience.
May the Grace of God continue to abound in your life (Amen).
S O OWONIFARI
congrats…and thank God your voice is back!
For those who are professional in providing solutions through speech, silence is often neglected. Few realize that listening is the best wayo bring about exeptional solutions to problems. It is also the best way to avoid the traps of talking too much and being a ‘distasteful’ companion. Even a fool will be considered wise if he keeps his mouth shut!
ROFL. Yeah that’s it. Incidentally, my Dad used to lose his voice almost every year at certain season changes for a couple of days t like 2 weeks sometimes! Then he used to keep to himself a lot, and we used to disturb him less as well………
But the lessons you highlighted above are thought-provoking. I thank God for my voice ( though I can seldom shout)…..lol
God owns us all. thank God your voice is back.
its true that great men are made in silence