THE 21ST CENTURY WIFE -5
Dear Praise,
I have carefully followed your latest series and I must confess that you have really opened my eyes to a lot of issues I have overlooked for the last 8years of my marriage. Especially the fact that I became a ‘Mama’ instead of remaining the chick my husband married. But I want you to address the fact that the same man who keeps quiet over issues at home becomes very lively with the other woman. I also got thinking and need you to clarify the issue or pretence because we all know fully well that the woman outside is pretending and will reveal her true nature once she moves in. You are doing a great job my brother and thanks for bringing healing to our homes.
Chioma E.
I have received countless numbers of mails and SMS from couples all over the country on the 21st century woman issue and I must apologize if I have not been able to respond to your questions. I want to assure you that I will respond in due course,
We started this series a few weeks ago and I am glad that a lot of us have started making some adjustments and let me repeat once more that the goal is not to subjugate our women but to teach principles that will help us succeed in or marital lives. I will defiantly look at the 21st century woman as requested by most of the women who have responded and I am sure our men will have a lot to learn when we start with them.
Today I will try and examine 2 other differences between the wife and the concubine. You must never forget that it is no longer sufficient for the 21st century woman to remain a wife to her spouse; she must also become his concubine to keep him at home.
My response to the question Chioma raised will form my 7th and 8th differences between a wife and a concubine.
– While a wife’s environment is unpredictable; a concubine the man knows what to expect
We often talk about the law of the goodwill in management which says that old customers will always return to the old place. I am sure we all still remember the story of Delilah and Samson. TD Jakes talks about Delilah’s environment being conducive enough for the giant to lay his head. If you ask some men who engage in infidelity what their expectations are when they make their way to both environments the will tell you that they expect sheer fun and tranquility when they are with the concubine. They never expect any form of argument from her because she is trying to get him so she does everything to please the man.
Every man has a cave period when he doesn’t expect any form of disturbance and women must learn not to follow a man into that cave once he goes in there. Does your spouse knows what to expect from you when it comes to care and romance? What is that special thing you do that he often looks forward to? Have we ever bothered to find out why Samson kept going back to Delilah even when it was obvious she was out to destroy him? The answer is found in her environment.
There is an environment few men can resist. That environment talks about what he sees, what he hears, what he feels and what he smells when he comes in. Don’t create a hostile environment for your spouse. Work your way to a level that your spouse becomes emotionally accountable to you without fear. Once you get to that level. You have gotten him.
– While the goal of the wife is to remain married; the concubine’s goal is to snatch the man
Never be satisfied with having his ring on your finger because the woman outside desires his ring as well and is willing to do everything to snatch that ring. So apply a posture of someone who doesn’t have his ring and desires to have it and you would have tactically defeated the concubine. You remember how you were at your best before you got married and those things you did that made him choose you out of several others contending for his attention. You need to keep doing the same things without relenting. Your 2 major goals should be to remain married as well as snatch your man from his wife (remember you are both women)
I want you to understand that you have all it takes to keep your marriage and turn your husband into whatever direction as a woman. With exceptional service you can keep his head at home but without it you may turn his head in the direction of the other woman.
Remain a wife but at the same time become his concubine and you would have saved your man and your marriage.
To be continued
