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Heaven gained my mum on the first day of the second half of the year 2009. From a week before that day and today, I have been on the road between Ilorin and Lagos, I have also been in deep thought about life, about death, about love, about relationships and about family. I’ve asked myself very real questions about what I am doing with my life, what regrets I may have if I continue with my status quo. I have also tried to be strong for my dad, for my sibblings, for the family, the community, the church and very importantly for myself as well. On friday the 17th of July, 2009, my mum’s body was lowered into the grave. Forgive me if I sound different from how you expect me to sound, this last 3 weeks of my life have transformed my life. I have burrowed deep into the soil beneath my existence and planted my roots far down, I have no doubts that my capacity for growth in the years ahead have been enhanced.
I am missing my mum already, and I’m certain it’s only the beginning, but I am confident and convinced also that God has stepped in the fill the gap and the vacuum that this transistion would have created in our lives. I tell my friends proudly that I have never had any reason to go to the hospital in my life till date order than to remove or fill my teeth – Never! Till a few weeks ago, all I ever do, is pick up my phone and dial my mum. She was my health google, she had all the answers, and they always worked. I thought this was my own little secret, I discovered to my amazement when the pastor of her church preached her closing sermon, that there are many people including the pastors family whose healths were just my mum’s phone number away. When I sit down to ruminate about the things that my mother got involved in, my efforts look like childsplay. Allowing her life to inspire mine, I am certain that I ought to do more. I can do much more than I am doing, you can do much more than you are doing! All you and I need to do, is to shift our thinking, and decide to do more! Don’t merely count your days, let your days count.
Here are a few other lessons and examples from my mum on doing more.
1. Do unforgetable good.
One of my aunties (on my fathers side) shared a story on the wake keeping that touched me. One of her sons, a really senior cousin to me, stayed with my parents when I was a baby. He was with my parents and was being sent to school by them, because they were slightly financially better than his parents. After a while, around when he got to form 4 (SS1), his father sent for him. Unknown to my parents, he was sent for, so that he could stop schooling and start farming. My mum travelled to where they were located, saw this young chap on the farm, and insisted that she wanted to take him back to Ilorin and to school. She stood her ground till it was agreed, with my dad’s intervention he got readmitted back to the secondary school even though he had missed some months. They supported him until he finished his university engineering degree and started his own life. This is one story out of ones similar to it. It didn’t matter how far the relationship is, she tried to help as much as was possible. I know many people that she has won my support to join her in helping, I know some too, who might be unsure of approaching me now that she’s gone. It’s not about how much money you have or don’t have. My parents were not wealthy, they were civil servants with bottom of the pyramid pay, but out of the little available, they made unforgetable marks in people’s lives. Are you doing the same?
2. Do what you love, and do it with love
My mum didn’t become a nurse because there was no job or because nursing was available, she became a nurse because she loves to help people. There was no hour of the day or night when my mum was unreacheable. There were nights I warned her to just take the people to the hospital and not take so much risks, but not my mum! I think I inherited her appetite for risk. For her risk pales into insignificance when people are at stake. I’ve seen my mum go out at 1am to deliver someone of a baby in the persons house or car, I’ve seen her bring people into her visitors room and come out with a baby after. I recollect watching a few circumcisions at 13/14 and wondering if I’ll ever want my son to go through with this. When the church pastor mentioned that in their house, from delivery to circumcision to whatever didn’t require their leaving their house because of my mum, the early days pictures flashed back. I remember arguing with my mum when I was in JSS class that I would never be able to do medicine. I told her that I believed that if I made a mistake with peoples lives, I would not be able to forgive myself. She told me, that’s why she thinks I’ll be good, because if I think like that, I’ll make sure I’m good and won’t make mistakes. She explained to me how she does, and how she doesn’t make mistakes. My mum was nicknamed Iyabeji Oloogun (the medicine woman and mother of twins) by the rural community, she was a nurse 24/7. If I can use my passion to bless people around me so passionately, I would have touched it. What do you love to do? Do you do it with love? My mum would have been good at almost anything, but she was exceptional at helping people. What do you stand the chance to be great in?
3. Love and let it show
Whenever I and my mum met, she’ll hug me, and give me a kiss on both cheeks or on my neck. I always felt special, and always knew what she was saying – I love you, and I’m proud of you. Interestingly, I discovered that I wasn’t alone. My mum practically hugs and pecks hundreds, perhaps thousands of people, and interestinly, they all felt special about it like they were the only ones. Life is too short to keep your appreciation, admiration, encouragment or love to yourself. Share it, hold hands, look into eyes, hug, peck, whatever you are permitted to do within holy limits, express your love. Don’t love and hide, love and let it show.
4. Reach out to people outside your shell
It’s easy to get caged into reaching out to our family and only people within our settings. It’s a big step if that’s all you do, afterall some are not doing anything at all. However, this is about doing more! Early January this year, my mum called a few leaders in the church and shared with them that she had a vision of helping jobless and uneducated people, and that she needed a team of 10 other people to join her in this ministry. Interestingly, they gathered themselves, immediately started contributing together and have been using the money to support and help raise up some other people. She had interstingly been doing this without her pastor’s knowledge. She’s also been working on raising a team of alumni for FGCIlorin to help with a few things, and she is the strong reason why I’m involved in giving some particular students scholarships. For her, it doesn’t really matter where you are from, she loved and gave without boundaries.
5. Let your presence or absence be felt
Life must continue, but whenever I allow myself to think about my mum, her role and her personality, I know that it wouldn’t be a piece of cake. It’s easy to simply build one’s life around hers. She played major roles in so many people’s lives, that they won’t forget her in a hurry. Will you be missed when you die? What will people say about you? What gap are you filling in someone’s life? Or are you dead already? Strive to live a life of impact, add value to people, let your presence be felt.
Those who live life deeply don’t have the fear of death. Death is a sure to come to all of us, the occurence should give us an opportunity to introspect. To think deeply, reorder or refresh! Are you willing to step it up and do more? I am, and you should too.
40 thoughts on “Sweet Mother”
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Thanks Deolu for sharing these.
Deolu,I can feel your pain but i pray that God should be your strenght.We all know the impact of mothers in their childs life.I don’t ever want to imagine losing my mine.God will continue to strenght you we love you!
Even though i know you are strong and trying your best to hold heart for the recent departure of your Mum, i pray that God will give you more Grace and strenght beyond measure to bear the absence of your Mum in body, i feel you my brother, my heart beats as i read all these account, all i can say is that it is well with you, stay strong, we shall meet your Mum in Heaven.
Wonderful..
The basis of these was also on a series of write-ups i wrote for a soon to be published magazine.
You will soon get over the Missing part
D lessons 2 learn from her worth more than silver & gold, u’re a chip of d old block.keep riding higher and higher in all dat u do.May the Lord continously strenghten u.amen.we all miss u mama.
Chairman,am happy that your mum lived a fulfilled life..The God that has given you the strong heart to bear it will continue to strength you and the rest of your family..
Chief,
Whata glorious life! Whata blessed living. God help me and May He help our generation! God Bless you sir!
Dear Deolu,
These are invaluable lessons to be learned from a life deeply lived. I was privileged to hear wonderful things about mummy, about all the impact she made in the community where she lived. She was indeed a good woman with a large heart. LIFE IS NOT ONLY IN THE QUANTITY, BUT ALSO IN THE QUALITY. I pray the good Lord will help u guys to continue in her good works n maintain her legacy. It is well.
“Do what you love, and do it with love”
I love browsing that is why internet business is the best fit for me.
Her children shall call her blessed. The Lord keep watch over you and yours.
Chairman, It is very painful to loose such a wonderful mum but I want you to know that mum is in Heaven with Jesus.
It is well Chairman! These kind of lessons only come from great people, born or made. She was great willingly and thankfully we have these lessons to learn from her now. God will uphold you!
Deolu, what you have written here simply speaks much of your person and level of wisdom, you have a choice to take a break from what you do best but no you are still here doing your thing. I sympathise with you.
The fact is even in pain you have spoken so well – this is an inspiring post for those who are alive.
May God strengthen you.
God is your strenght. I could liken your mum to mother Theresa. Ojo a jina si ara won o.
Thx. Alot for this insight
Thank God to see you strong. Sorry was not able to make it to thhe burial, I guess there is always a lesson to learn from every situation. thanks for sharing this.
My brother,
I am more than willing to step it up. I should also congratulate you for having a model as a mother.
I totally agree with number 3 and I’ll do act it now.
I LOVE ADEOLU AKINYEMI and I’m proud to say it. God bless you.
Didun didun ni iranti olododo.May the God of all comfort, comfort you and your family on everyside in Jesus name.
Sir,
This is spirit reviving, we all will miss her physical present and smile but, will alway feel her impact. We can live up to expectation if we see the importance of impacting lives.
Sincere love
Obinna UniQuehnd
Together we can cause a CHANGE to our world…make it a better place!
Oh what a fulfilled life.
SHE LIVES IN YOU NOW BROTHER, SO PICK YOURSELF UP AND MOVE ON WITH HER SPIRIT!!!!!!!!
Wow! She’s truly a great woman. Even though I never had the priviledge to meet her I’m inspired by her story. We’ll definitely miss her and we all need to go out of our way to affect lives and change the world all around us for good. Imagine if we have half the population of this country to have such attitude, our world would be a far more better place. I chose today to do more than I’ve been doing to better the lives of all that I come in contact with by God’s grace.
So touching……… indeed, service is greatness, this is a confirmation again
Thank you sir, God is your strength
I do share your thoughts Deolu.
I thank GOD for a well and fullfilled life spent by your mother before she finally answered GOD calls. Iam happy that a lot of good things is been said about her, but come to think of it,what are people going to say about us when we finally left these sinful world?. How many people dom we try and put a smile to their faces out of the little GOD has provided for us?. Are we truly our brothers keepers?. The kind of life we are life we lives, is it affecting our environment positively or negatively?. How do we treat our workers or subbordinates in our various offices? are we not seeing ourselves as a thin GOD?. Please lets examine ourselves very well and try to live a fullfilled life as mama has did so that better things can be said about us when we finally say good bye to this sinfull world. This is food for taught.
i believe the day all our mothers choose to be like or better than Deolu’s mum, the world would be a better place to live in. because i’ve discoverd the power of influence the women posses.
she gave you and us the best gift. CHARACTER. It keeps you going and sustains you at the top.
Death the inevitable shall come when it shall come. It is an unfortunate incidence that no man has been able to control. Take heart. God knows why it happened at this time. My prayer is that her soul finds peace with the Almighty God. God definitely has a way of doing His own things. As a human, you will miss her love and care, that motherly love. I pray that the perceived gap created will be filled sooner than you expect. Continue in your good work. The Good Lord will reward accordingly. Amen.
I was so carried away by the death of your mum that I forgot to say congratulations as you make it to the top of the ladder of Holidays and Cash. The programme is really real. http://www.holidaysandcash.com/onyemerekwe
Chairman, I know you are string in the Lord and that is why you could still share useful tips with us from your Mum’s Life and Times……Thank You….Ojo a jinna si ra won O!!!!
I am trying to comprehend the lose. This is indeed an influencing woman.
Like mother like son.
when mothers do their job, the children will be like uncle Deolu. a challenge to all mothers and up coming ones as well…lol
Agood life with greater impact is worth than millions, may we all be able to play our roles
i hrtly sympathize wit u, wat a g8 lend she is. Thks for sharx d lesson sir.
Hmmm…what an inspiring biography. Dear mentor, you should take time to properly capture all the details of her life and publish for posterity. Everybody ought to know what “successful living” truly is. Now I see why you’re prospering, your mum had sown the seeds that even your children’s children will benefit from. Count yourself lucky for having such a great mum.
when i was redaing this post, the first thought that came to my mind was” what a life!” who will not be proud to have a mother such as yours? from all i read, she indeed contributed her quota to life and was a huge blessing to people. we as future parents only hope to become even better because it is one thing to be a good man but yet an entirely different thing to be a good father! many have made huge impact in the world today but havent achieved such fufilment with their families.
may God grant her eternal peace and make each of us better parents.
I thank God for a well fulfiled life. The role of a mother in a child’s life is inestimable. Their worth can’t be compared to what human has to offer in life. I know too well that the good Lord will give you the desired strength to carry on. As regard the testimony concerning your health, sincerely i celebrate God in your life. Be rest assured, your health will not fail and by his grace you will not disappoint your world. More wisdom, more understanding, more inspiration. PLEASE! let the ink keep flowing.
or anything really. I couldnt even get a car loan at the end up, i got there in the end though, it takes a little digging,
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