Sex – 103

Written by
Written by

Deolu Akinyemi

Someone asked whether we had sufficient on the sex series to cater for the needs of those that have needs for Sex -199. lol. Well, we started a series last week, and there is a concluding part, to the series we started in Sex -102.

In case you are wondering why Sex of all things to talk about, well it’s because there are few things that cut across all human beings. One is finances, another is sex and the various other items that surround them. I remember once listening to a man that said authoritatively that he does not know of anybody dead that was maritally unfaithful and died a peaceful death. Maybe you should check it out as well.

Our society is breaking down, as we continue to equip ourselves with excuses. I felt really touched when I Praise told the story of a primary 3 boy that was caught with a condom in the toilet with a primary 2 girl, when asked the reason for this behavior, he responded quite confidently “Isn’t it on TV that if we can’t hold body, we should use condom?” Shocking, isn’t it? Well, what happens when we don’t plant seeds? Weeds grow. Here is an attempt to take charge and use this opportunity to sow some good seeds. Welcome up stage again today, Praise Fowowe…



I learnt a long time ago that all we need for our world to be a better place is for our men to return to their original state. Even from the good Book we learnt that when Eve ate the apple nothing happened until she gave it to Adam. The moment he ate the apple, mankind fell.

Anyway let’s get back to what we started last week. We were men indeed and we knew what it meant to be men and we fulfilled the role so well until ………………………….

We lost our manhood and instead of reconnecting back to our manhood we used something else to cover it up hence we equated manhood to many other things that had nothing to do with manhood.

And we lost our identity –We were the foundation and suddenly our brain became distorted. We lost the original information we had, and picked wrong information. Fathers started seeing daughters from another light; they saw holes so fathers started using the money they were meant to use to better the lot of the girls to lure them into sex. We started using our broad chest that was meant to shield and protect them into…

You see, most men’s level of emotional maturity is not at par with their age. As a matter of fact we all know that age is not maturity. When a 55year old man begins to run after a 16year old school girl then there is something wrong somewhere.

One major thing with boys is adventure. When most of us were younger we were so crazy to explore sex and for us it was like there was nothing else. We listened to love songs, dated babes and saw lots of films. That was how some of us became hooked to masturbation and pornography but it wasn’t that worrisome because we were expected to naturally outgrow those things with age as some other things were expected to take our priority. But that was not to be because the moment we started having sex we stopped growing so we found it impossible to outgrow our quest for adventure.

For example you would naturally expect a man that has had sex with girls and is now married to be satisfied but you see the same man lusting after other girls some that are not even as beautiful as his wife. How do we describe that addiction or adventure? Sometimes I wonder if there are other women with 4 legs, 5 breasts or whatever but you see a man running after young girls, so the truth is that the boy in us has refused to grow such that even though we have the body of an adult or they call us a married man or a top executive, emotionally we have refused to grow so you have a boy trapped in the body of an adult and that is the genesis of the major sexual problems we have at the moment.

Maturity has been defined as the ability to delay gratification but we have so many men with a very weak emotion unable to delay gratification.

Maturity is going through pain to obtain pleasure or rather forsaking a 5 minute pleasure to retain your integrity and dignity. The hallmark of a boy is the “let me have it now syndrome, even if I won’t have it again tomorrow”. But a man knows that it belongs to him next year so he is willing to wait for the right time.

The greatest problem right now is that we have boys in men’s skin getting married and that is why we are witnessing the spate of divorce owing to marital unfaithfulness. Several men/women have lost their childhood to abuse. The moment most of us were touched or the first time we had sex as teenagers we stopped growing emotionally and since we never bothered to get help there and then our body maturity doesn’t correspond with our emotional maturity. That is why it has become so difficult more than ever for men to keep their body and the more they use younger girls the more those ones stop growing emotionally.

Sex brings you to the same level as your sex partners. So if you have a boy in a man’s body such a man would naturally long for his real mates – girls. And would want to do what boys do – instant gratification. This is very deep but I just hope that you’ll understand. We can never really quantify the damage we do to ourselves when boys get into sex at the wrong time and when they grow into emotionally underdeveloped men who touch young girls. We end up producing an immature generation who get into leadership and start propounding policies and theories about our inability to hold our body. It is nothing but learned helplessness which is traceable to immaturity.

For men to become men again, we need a new self image and perspective, I mean a very good self esteem which can only happen if we are able to develop our emotions to be at par with our body make up.

To be concluded next week

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