Sex 101

Written by
Written by

Deolu Akinyemi

I decided to do something really interesting today, I invited a guest facilitator to come and facilitate a “let’s talk about sex, no holds barred session” for all of us in Generis Solutions. I had met Praise Fowowe only a few days ago, and had been so impressed with him and his work, I was eager to make everyone hear him.

The session went well, it was an opportunity to see and know ourselves better, and an opportunity to do a self introspection and level up with where we were as individuals and where we are going. If 9/10 men become unfaithful in their marriages, and 9/9 who engage end up their lives in funny and mysterious circumstances, the best we can do for our future is educate ourselves and be in control. After the 2hrs sex talk section, I decided to interview Praise Fowowe. Please Read on and Enjoy

On Yahoo Messenger

Adeolu Akinyemi: So can we meet you? Who is Praise Fowowe, and what do you do?

Adeolu Akinyemi: Your audience is Corporate Nigeria, Young Nigerians and People interested in their futures and in Personal Development.

Praise Fowowe: Praise Fowowe is a turning point for people. You don’t meet him and remain the same. He is simply out to raise a sexually pure generation, build the most desirable marriages and assist people and organizations attain competitive leverage through personal effectiveness

Adeolu Akinyemi: Very interesting and different objectives. Can you share with us what your journey has been like, and why you?

Praise Fowowe: It has been one long process of measurable fulfilment. I left the university with 2 decisions. 1 was not to work as an accountant and the other was to positively affect people’s relationships in a way that generations unborn and my creator would be proud of. So rising from an abusive background, I have had to visit brothels to toast prostitutes out of prostitution, assist the sexually abused, train the sex addicts and sexually defiants, restore broken marriages and facilitate personal effectiveness sessions for banks and other organizations. We are also in about 3 secondary schools now and 4 campuses

Adeolu Akinyemi: Wow…

Adeolu Akinyemi: First, I like to establish a basis for authority. I want to listen to people only when I know they have achieved something and have a basis for commanding my attention. Can you tell me what you have achieved so far in the line of creating a sex pure generation? Why should I listen to you? Have prostitutes left prostitution? Are sex addicts changing? What is your experience…?

Praise Fowowe: over 27 prostitutes have left the brothels especially at the capital of prostitution in Ajegunle the famous good evening street, I have personally trained over 150 ex sex addicts and built a network of over 250 people who have subscribed to the sex-pure-centric vision and who meet weekly in Ajegunle to reinforce that believe. I have also started the sexpurecentric friendship centres on 66 streets in Ajegunle and planning to extend to 200 streets this year where youths meet weekly to talk about their sexuality issues and get help.

Adeolu Akinyemi: Amazing…

Praise Fowowe: not to talk of the over 6million people that read my private matters column on Saturday -Thisday (recently stopped writing it after 3 years)

Adeolu Akinyemi: Ok, I’m all ears now… you certainly must be an authority in what you are saying… but tell me, why is it important to not to have sex, isn’t it okay to just use condom? Or why should people be sex pure… is this a religious thing?  Why sex purity, and not the popular anti HIV – “Use Condom”

Praise Fowowe: not at all it’s about posterity. God has never killed any man for not having sex but many have been killed for perverting sex. There is no condom that is 100% safe, if it were safe Malawi’s life expectancy wouldn’t be 37years, Botswana won’t be 39. Sex is more than the virus

Adeolu Akinyemi: hmm…

Praise Fowowe:  It involves the body, soul and the spirit. Tell me is there a condom that can protect the mind or the spirit. Can a condom protect the memories? Can the condom assist the esteem of the young girl that was raped? It’s like wearing the gloves to kill and saying it wasn’t you that murdered the person

Adeolu Akinyemi: hmmm… I don’t think a condom can.

Praise Fowowe: It is about behavioural transformation. Something must have been responsible for their current situation and they can restore their sexuality. I have seen ex-addicts become sane by redefining their concepts of sex. I have facilitated sessions for people to love themselves and love the people around them as beings and not as things and I have seen transformation. My former P.A in 2003 had sex for 145days out of 365days but when we met and by the application of the information hasn’t had sex since then. He is getting married soon.

Adeolu Akinyemi: But what do you recommend to a person who as the advert says “if you can’t hold body?”

 

Switch to SKYPE

[13:22:08] Adeolu Akinyemi says: As you were saying… why not the condoms approach?

[13:24:53] PRAISE FOWOWE says: you see people who even talk about condom pay lip service to it or how do you explain a conference of over 600 sexologists and top sex educators in Washington DC in 1991 where the late president of American sex educators Dr. Theresa Crenshaw asked all of them how many would be willing to try the condom if they knew their partner was HIV positive? Only one person stood up, she said it was irresponsible for them to advocate what they weren’t willing to practise

[13:25:15] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Is it really possible to abstain from sex? Or are people to focus on just one partner… married or unmarried?

[13:25:32] PRAISE FOWOWE says: it is very much possible to abstain.

[13:26:07] Adeolu Akinyemi says: You speak with so much certainty… how?

[13:27:07] PRAISE FOWOWE says: The most important thing about life isn’t sex and we know that. I am so certain because I have been there before and I made up my mind that I was going to change and by changing my mind I changed my life and sustained my purity for 9years till I got married

[13:28:10] PRAISE FOWOWE says:  The most important sex organ isn’t the genitals contrary to what medical scientists teach. It is our mind and the mind is at best a slave, it is enslaved to the dominant information it contains

[13:28:47] PRAISE FOWOWE says: so if you change the information in your mind, value your life and discover a higher purpose for living, sex may be the least of your problems

 [13:29:44] Adeolu Akinyemi says: But what of people who do it only with their steady partners? Because there is a school of thought that says that it’s difficult to be in control… and abstain once one already has developed the habit… will it not help against incest, bestiality and other perverted options if people have to stay off completely?

[13:33:01] PRAISE FOWOWE says: as much as they may want to rationalize that but we all know that sex is addictive and men are predators. What happens when one partner isn’t around?  Go and find out from people who are of this schools of thought you will discover that they are not faithful to any partner because for the woman she is giving the sex to keep the man forgetting that no woman has ever kept a guy through sex and for the guy sooner than later he is going to get tired of her and would want to explore another lady.  It’s either you are self controlled or you are not and once you are not anything can happen.

[13:33:43] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmmm…

[13:36:56] PRAISE FOWOWE says: once you are addicted to sex every opportunity is used to satisfy the urge and that is where the problem is. But I say to people that you can’t be addicted to whatever you have never started. We are human beings and we have the power to be in control. If people know what to do when they are in the middle of the road and there is an on-coming vehicle. If they know what to do when they are hungry and the only food available is poisoned, if they know what to do when on the verge of sex the lady announces her HIV positive status. Men….let’s not deceived ourselves and revel in our learned helplessness. We can do it

[13:37:33] Adeolu Akinyemi says: great words and great thoughts…

[13:38:32] PRAISE FOWOWE says: the original African mothers never wore blouse or top, they tied wrapper and it was a taboo for the men to violate them then because the fear of the god of the land was the beginning of wisdom. Then what has happened to us? What we have become now was learned and can be unlearned because we were not born with it

[13:38:45] PRAISE FOWOWE says: thanks my brother

[13:39:23] Adeolu Akinyemi says: from your experience, how will you statistically classify Nigerians… sexually abused, sexually educated, broken, virgins, active e.t.c. do you have an idea of these numbers? We want a New Nigeria… and I’m bold to say we don’t want the life expectancy of that Nigeria to be 40 as it is in some parts of Nigeria today… I feel we are headed in this direction, and the only security we hear is use condom.

[13:42:56] PRAISE FOWOWE says: unfortunately we don’t have accurate statistics in Nigeria but the UN says 7 out of every 10 ladies have been sexually abused before 18. I personally conducted a survey last year among 200 young people aged 16-24 and discovered that 186 of them were sexually abused, 198 was battling with one form of sexual activity or the other, 200 said they needed help urgently about their sexuality, and so on and my relationship with young people in universities and secondary school has exposed me to the reality that a lot of Nigerians are sexually active and more children are being sexually abused at the moment

[13:44:08] PRAISE FOWOWE says: Also the only safe sex is sex in the marriage environment and if you are not going to get married get busy with your assignment and become a positive role-model for the younger generation. God has never killed anyone for not having sex.

[13:47:49] PRAISE FOWOWE says: People make a lot of money from manufacturing condom and they know Africa is more or less a dumping ground because most of us don’t question what comes from abroad.  Dr Oyedepo once said ‘it doesn’t have to be white to be right.  I believe that. Gay is from there is it right? Bestiality is from there is it right? Divorce in America is now a statistics game. It says one out of two marriages will end in divorce, is that right? We must think again and challenge what we believe, we must rediscover ourselves.  I mean our Nigerianness and know that we have what to give them abroad and it’s our love for one another, our commitment to each other and our sexual purity, we have done it before and we can do it again that is the power of a Nigerian

[13:51:04] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Wow… how do we cure this scourge… what is the root of the problem and how do we tackle it. I daresay we have no lessons from the west… we don’t want to be like them… what is the root and what are the solutions?

[13:55:22] PRAISE FOWOWE says: Every sexual problem is either rooted in the non-discovery of self or the non-remembrance of self.  If you don’t know who you truly are you won’t know what not to do and if you forget who you are as well you will misbehave. We have to assist our people rediscover themselves, make knowledge available with positive role models everywhere advocating abstinence. Sexual purity must come back to vogue and people must feel bad for engaging in pre/extra marital sex. We must infiltrate the air waves and the prints media with positive sexual messages and let our young people see what is right. We must engage their minds and get abusers pay heavily for their secrets acts.

[13:56:09] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmmm…

[13:58:34] PRAISE FOWOWE says: if we do this we will see a different world emerge from Nigeria however the revolution must start with the families that was why I came up with the Undressing sex DVD and now am thinking about the undressing sex cartoons so that we can teach sexual abuse and other deviant behaviours through cartoons and how young people must report these cases. I have written songs but must get it out so that we can get this message everywhere. We must develop our own sex education and make them compulsory subjects in schools. We can do it I see possibilities; I see the realities of this I know it is possible. We can! We must! And we will do it!

[14:01:44] Adeolu Akinyemi says: we must! I like that.

[14:02:41] Adeolu Akinyemi says: I can see you have done a lot of great work in Ajegunle, you’ve also used your story to role model the right behaviours… I believe we need to export these values nationwide…: I think we need to replicate your great work…

[14:03:29] PRAISE FOWOWE says: I believe so too and I know it can be done.

[14:04:08] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Sex is a topic most parents don’t even talk to their children about… I think we need to clone you Praise….and get a lot more people involved in promoting sex education and abstinence…

[14:04:48] PRAISE FOWOWE says: when I started out I saw the sexpurecentric friendship centres being replicated in homes and streets all over the world. I laughed and asked myself how possible that would be. It is beyond me and must live after us

[14:06:31] PRAISE FOWOWE says: it must be done my brother. That would be the height of my fulfilment when over 5 million people can do the same and do it better wherever they find themselves and not just talking but living the life. If we get it right now and pass the message to our children I believe we will raise a new generation that God would be proud of

[14:07:25] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmmm… and like you told me earlier… 9/10 husband engage in extramarital affairs…the young girls they prey on, go ahead to abuse little boys, who grow up… and the cycle continues… this creates a cycle that we must stop..

[14:08:26] PRAISE FOWOWE says: we must stop the cycle of abuse. If the abuse baton has been passed to us through the people that abused us we must break the baton and ensure we don’t pass it to another person. It must be done

[14:09:28] PRAISE FOWOWE says: we must re-write history and shatter the record books. Tear the western statistics and give them a brand new statistics of sexual purity from Nigeria enroute the world

[14:10:15] Adeolu Akinyemi says: I feel you my brother… and agree too…

[14:11:08] PRAISE FOWOWE says: we must start pre-marital academy to ground our intending couples on the marital institution and follow it up by appointing marital mentors who must ensure their marriage work. With that we will reduce divorce and some of these vices

[14:12:24] Adeolu Akinyemi says: You mentioned something about definitions helping stay pure as well… can you help us with some of those definitions?

[14:13:24] PRAISE FOWOWE says: what is sex? Sex is a covenant exchange of life, love and pleasure between the man and the woman in the marriage environment for the purpose of unity, procreation and the expression of marital love

[14:14:26] PRAISE FOWOWE says: female breast- The milk manufacturing factory of the woman with a specialised consumer-infants and acts as a secondary sex organ for sexual pleasure in the marriage environment

[14:14:40] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Hmmm… If people agree to this definition… we will have very few to no “accidental occurrences”…lol

[14:15:05] PRAISE FOWOWE says: vagina- The sealed parcel of land of the woman (hymen) that must be exclusively preserved for the king’s cultivation in the marital season

[14:15:19] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmm…laiwo we.

[14:15:42] PRAISE FOWOWE says: semen – The man’s choice seed that guarantees the preservation of his future

[14:16:08] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmm…

[14:17:01] Adeolu Akinyemi says: I think we need to propagate these definitions… and have detailed curriculums on them… interestingly… all of us grew up… with different funny definitions… no wonder we abuse our sexualities…

[14:17:10] PRAISE FOWOWE says: female body- The earth suit of the woman that guarantees her legality on planet earth. It is like the bottle of coca-cola. What moves you isn’t the bottle but the content so see to know the content and refuse to be moved by the packaging or the container

[14:17:39] PRAISE FOWOWE says: I have a curriculum for all these things

[14:18:24] PRAISE FOWOWE says: it’s time to get it right

[14:18:33] Adeolu Akinyemi says: hmm… I’m awed to silence… well done.

[14:21:05] PRAISE FOWOWE says: I have to run to the off to the office now the gay client is waiting for me. He has improved tremendously was shocked to see him at daystar on Sunday saying to me that he is a changed man. Have to go and see him. Thanks Deolu for re-kindling my spirit. Something has been re-ignited in me I feel the energy and passion all over again like when I started.  Thanks a million my brother. I love you and appreciate you for everything.

[14:23:17] PRAISE FOWOWE says: you are indeed a candle that lights other candle

[14:27:36] Adeolu Akinyemi says: On a final note… what do you have to say to the thousands and millions of Nigerians out there… who shy away from the topic of sex, but are active in ways that damage their conscience?

[14:29:58] PRAISE FOWOWE says: They must be true to themselves and see the big picture, for the guys refuse to see a hole in the ladies. Every lady you meet is an opportunity to either put your name in their hall of fame or shame. The same power you have to defile is the same power you have to file (sharpen, develop) so exercise your choice and will power in the right direction and always ask what would she have to say about me after 10 years.

[14:33:11] PRAISE FOWOWE says: same for the ladies if you give sex to the guy you are sleeping with another woman’s man and partnering with him to destroy himself and his families. The real Nigeria is the Nigerians so whatever is done to one is done to Nigeria. Will you defile Nigeria (ladies) or build them. Your life ultimately would be valued by your degree of donation to humanity and not your bank account. Would you have donated sperms (virus) or an incredible legacy that can stand the test of time?  Selah.

[14:33:38] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Wow…

[14:34:31] Adeolu Akinyemi says: thanks very much for your time… I really appreciate your making out time for us to do this interview. I have no doubt that many will find it useful

[14:35:02] Adeolu Akinyemi says: I also believe that in our quest for a New Nigeria… we cannot leave off such an important topic.

[14:35:18] PRAISE FOWOWE says: let us talk about sex, let us live the life, spread the information and raise a sexually pure generation. It is possible and remember we can! We must and we will do it. Join me as I pledge to my God and gender to keep my body from pre/extra-marital sex. To treat every lady as my mother, sister, daughter and my neighbour’s queen to defend their virginity and uphold their chastity and purity. So help me God

[14:35:34] Adeolu Akinyemi says: Hmmm! AMEN! {I’ll need one for the ladies}

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