How Parents Unknowingly Wreck Their Children – Part 3

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Written by

Deolu Akinyemi

Welcome, dear reader, to the third installment of this series. I urge you to take a moment to peruse the preceding two parts, for it is crucial that you grasp the genesis of this discussion. Furthermore, I implore you to turn the mirror upon yourself and reflect upon whether you too, bear some responsibility in these matters.

Dear young parent, it is likely that no one has explicitly revealed these truths to you, for there exists no formal institution that imparts the art of parenting. Even the marriage institution, which is the bedrock of family and parenting, is entered into by many without much preparation. In many countries, people actually get their marriage certificates before starting the marriage course.

Watch out for these:

  1. Picture this scenario: your child is in primary one, and you are playing with him or her by calling someone his wife or husband. Wrong move! You have no idea what 5-year-olds are capable of. Most parents have little or no idea what goes on in primary schools and secondary schools. Assuming their ignorance is naivety. Don’t set up the children, many people become sexually active from these harmless “plays”, jokes, or remarks.
  2. While it is admirable to welcome extended family members into your home and foster an environment of boundless generosity, do not relinquish your responsibilities as a parent. Beware, for it is often these older cousins, uncles, and aunties who have witnessed more than you can imagine who introduce the first encounters with alcohol, smoking, and sexual exploration. Beware, for there are stories that 35-year-old children divulge to their parents about their childhood that can leave them in a state of profound shock!
  3. Never fall into the fallacy of assuming that the mere enrolment of your children in reputable educational institutions absolves you of your duties. Oh, what a grave error! No school possesses the capability to assume the full mantle of parental responsibility. Even if you choose to send them off to boarding school from their earliest years, you are merely gambling with their future… Like every gamble, sometimes they turn out right, and most times they turn out wrong.
  4. Harsh Dad and Loving Mum! In many homes where Daddy and Mummy exist, they run roles that make mummy loved and daddy feared. Don’t lock yourselves into these roles, switch these roles from time to time. There is no value in retaining the memory of a harsh father and a loving mum. Exchange roles from time to time, it’s better for the children’s future if they see that their parents both love them and scold them when they go wrong. If the image of the parental roles is not balanced, it creates fresh problems for the next generation and can make one spouse bring bad memories later in life.

Will you like this to be continued? Please drop a yes in the comment section, and don’t forget to share with your family and friends.

Kind Regards,

Adeolu Akinyemi

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