How Parents Unknowingly Sabotage Their Children – Part 2

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Written by

Deolu Akinyemi

If this is your first time reading, I encourage you to go back and read the previous article titled “How Parents Wreck Their Children.” It is unfortunate that parents, driven by love but lacking guidance, inadvertently undermine their children’s futures.

There exists a proverb that resonates across various civilizations. Proverbs possess a fascinating ability to reveal the wisdom of different cultures, and they all converge on a similar message.

Consider the proverbs from different nations:

  1. American – “Shirtsleeves to Shirtsleeves in three generations.”
  2. Irish – “Clogs to clogs in three generations.”
  3. Chinese – “Rice paddy to rice paddy in three generations.”

These proverbs share a common theme: wealth does not naturally endure beyond three generations. A father starts with little and strives to provide affordable education for their children, who then achieve success and accomplishments. The next generation, born into the privileges and benefits bestowed upon them, often squanders it all. Consequently, the subsequent generation finds themselves returning to a state of poverty. This cycle, from poverty to poverty, occurs naturally within three generations.

If you are unaware of this reality, you are unintentionally perpetuating it. Many of you reading this are likely somewhere between the first and second generation in your families. If you fail to proactively plan for the future and think ahead for your children, you will end up raising liabilities.

Here are additional points to consider:

  1. Do not choose a career path for your children based solely on your own success. The most crucial skill for the future is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. There are no guaranteed career paths. Instead, empower your child to become a self-driven learner. That will likely be the best investment you make in their lives.
  2. Refrain from fixating on your child’s weaknesses. Many parents compare their children and constantly pressure them to excel academically. It is essential to recognize that all individuals, including children, possess unique forms of intelligence. Instead of dwelling on your child’s shortcomings, take the time to discover their strengths. There are at least eight different intelligences, and your child may excel in ways that are not typically measured in school.
  3. Schools do not measure the most vital qualities. Reflect upon the future requirements for employment or partnership. What do successful individuals and businesses seek? They value trustworthiness, truthfulness, high moral standards, and dependability. Even thief-seeking accomplices would look for trustworthy, loyal, and committed individuals. It all boils down to values. Therefore, sincerely consider the values your children are developing. Are they considerate, loyal, trustworthy, truthful, and dependable? Often, parents unintentionally erode their children’s values through their own actions.
  1. “Use your right hand,” “Keep quiet, you talk too much,” “Can you do it like everyone else?” Parents often bark orders at their children! The underlying similarity in these commands is a plea for their children to conform and be normal. However, progress is not born from conformity; nature itself experiences a gradual decline. The three-generational milestones are creation, maintenance, and dissipation. The generation that breaks away from poverty is the creative one, while the middle to upper-class generation maintains, and the subsequent generation dissipates. By urging your children to be normal, you hinder their creative potential.

There is more to come, if you are enjoying this so far, get your friends to subscribe.

Kind Regards,

Adeolu Akinyemi.

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