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Can I Know You?

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I decided to dust up one of my audios yesterday, and I’ve been listening to it since then. It’s an audio by Harvey Mackay, and it’s about building powerful networking relationships. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s an area where I believe I have serious room for improvement. Peter Drucker once said – “More business decisions occur over lunch and dinner than at any other time, yet no MBA courses are given on the subject”. Since there is no course or formal training on networking, it’s knowledge we must all invest in getting, and a life course we must all sit… and before this sounds like mere education, please know sincerely that I am building my network, and I’ll like to get to know YOU better.

If you are thinking, I’m an employee, what do I need to network and build powerful relationships for? Well, be sure that you will not be an employee for life, even if you want to be. The age of collecting 35yrs service award golden wristwatch is far gone, and even if you have that temperament, you’ll have to retire someday – Either to read newspapers and earn passive income, or to engage in one hobby or the other, either way, you’ll still need people, so why not start building those relationships now.

Harvey Mackay talked about a one day course he attended in UCLA – 77 Reasons why you should fly first class. As much as it sounded interesting and funny to me, I could identify with it. You are not worth more than your network, in fact your networth is your network. Before we plunge headlong into how to network, who to network and the right objectives for networking, let’s first understand what Networking is, and what it is not.

So what is networking? According to ‘The Networking Book’ by Jessica Lipnack and Jeffrey Stamps, ‘Networking is people connecting with people, linking ideas and resources.’ The book ‘Power Networking, 55 Secrets for Personal & Professional Success’ states that networking is not: 1) Selling; 2) Using people for your gain; 3) Coercing or manipulating someone to do what you want; 4) Putting friends, neighbors, associates on the spot; or 5) Badgering people about your business.

Networking is not a shotgun quick fix approach to getting to know people so that you can convert them to business tomorrow, it’s a gradual building of relationships with people with the interest of knowing them, and exchanging value with them over time. Real networking is longterm relationship building with people linking ideas and resources for the greater good of both parties.

Here are a few key thoughts on networking

1. Establish Relationships

Typically try to know people well. Don’t just network for the purpose of business, be genuinely interested in people. No one cares what you know until they know how much you care. Harvey Mackay says they have 66 questions their employees have to know about their clients that will stun the CIA. We need to know details about our network or clients, also about our employees, and people.

2. Be Generous

Many people establish relationships because of what they can get, that’s not good enough. Look not only at what you can get, but also at what you can give. How can you help? How can you add value.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity” – Keith Ferrazzi

3. Reach out to Strangers

If you are in a crowd and you stay to yourself, then you isolate yourself. Every stranger is an opportunity to meet one more person. Every flight is an opportunity to interact with one more person. Every training is more valuable for it’s network than it’s information. If you go for a seminar, bond with someone, learn the art of listening, and of introducing yourself.

In Creativity Cafe, “Strangers are just friends who haven’t yet met!” – Peter Rosen

4. Be Honest

Don’t cun your way into a relationship. Be honest about your true intentions, don’t schedule a meeting to interview someone if you really want the person to interview you for a job. If you need help be upfront and straightfoward, don’t be discovered to be phony. Honesty is still the best policy, and integrity and trust are still the universally accepted capital for business.

5. Network Selectively

“You never know, someone might say yes” – that’s marketing for dummies, not intelligent people. Don’t go around networking every tom dick and harry. Be selective. Take time to build a profile for the type of people who what you have to offer will appeal to, or who you can be of genuine help to. Speak to people predisposed to what you have to offer, not just anybody that breathes.

“A friend of the whole world, will come to ruin” – The Holy Bible.

6. Reciprocate

Networking is a two way street. So if someone has assisted you, make it a priority to help her down the road. However, do not expect something for someone just because you did something for her. Sometimes that person may not be in the position to help you. However, personally I believe that if you help someone out of the goodness of your heart, it is the ‘order of the universe’ that someone will help you one day. And remember, it has been said, that it is better to give than to receive.

“Give and it will come back to you, in good measure, shaken together, and running over, shall me give to your bossom” – The Holy Bible.

7. Value contacts ahead of contracts

When relationships and contracts clash, go for relationships. Business deals are really relationships between people. People will do business with you because the know you, like you, or trust you. Get a Rolodex (I just learnt that one, it’s a device that is used to store contacts), George bush, and Clinton had some of the best disciplines known ever of keeping people fresh in their minds, that’s why they became president. Keep people fresh in your mind, know them, know about them.

8. Find a Creative way to stay in touch

We met before is an acquaintance, not a relationship. Relationships are cultivated, nourished, developed. It requires calling, mailing, sending sms, and visiting. It requires knowing birthdays, staying in touch, helping out, linking up.

If I score myself on networking, with you for example, I certainly am not doing well. I have however identified this, and I want to really be better. I want to be top 5 Networkers in Nigeria. I want to know people, deeply, to support them, help them and connect them. I’m not doing poorly, but I have great room for improvement. There are so many people that check this site daily for example that never say a word, never drop a comment, just come in, share it with friends and walk. I need you, all of you. Get in touch with me, let me know you, let’s build a relationship. I’m tired of counting hits, I want to count people, people that I know well, people I can help and people that can support me.

It’s the right season and time… our future, the future of our nation and of our children, depend on our abilities to connect today. What are you doing about your network?

Adeolu Akinyemi

Adeolu Akinyemi

29 thoughts on “Can I Know You?”

  1. JesusFreak
    November 11, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Thank you sir for this..It will get me going …

    Reply
  2. Ifedapo
    November 11, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    I have always been an avid reader of your blog and find it so challengin..networking really matters as it determines our egde in life..someone one told me that the difference between the contract and the contact is the R(relationship)..I have always tried toimprove on mine as I examine myself eachday..with my kind of business also deolu..networking matters.

    Thank you for the list listed above and will take note.may God continue to increase you.

    Shallom.

    Reply
  3. Arinze Umeaku
    November 11, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    Deolu,
    this is touching and eye-opening. I guess there’s more to relationships than i thought.
    For starters you have my e-mail so i’ll be expecting to meet u 2.

    You spend a lot of time helping others u’ll be rewarded greatly.

    Reply
  4. solomon James
    November 11, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Thanks Deolu, its a great piece, networking is an art that needs to be cultivated, even business is a contact sport, we all need people, i was reading a book today and there was a quote that kept me pondering, “making a thousand friend in a year is not a miracle, but making a friend that stands by you in a thousand years is a miracle.”
    But the question is can we be that friend that people will find dependable when they really need it? I like your point on valuing contacts above contracts.
    “Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.” — Jennie Jerome Churchill

    http://www.undergraduatesinbusiness.com

    Reply
  5. Omooba
    November 11, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Well, this is really challenging stuff, and if you are talking about needing improvement, then I think I need a major turn around.

    The few relationships I’ve kept are the factors that I can attribute a lot of things in my life to now. I still owe you a call, just to keep in touch, like I’m owing a lot of other people. I guess I am going to be more proactive about networking now.

    Thanks for sharing again.

    Reply
  6. Otome Elisha
    November 11, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Oga Deolu, thank you for this particular one. Its really the issue for the now and though i have been building relationship but i will admit that i am still very poor with it. This is an eye opener, i have the bad habit of not calling even when things don’t go well.
    I will start working on myself henceforth. Thanks

    Reply
  7. Tomiwa Orunnipin
    November 11, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    Deolu,
    I think this is one of the best post you have made that really interest me(personal opinion).I must confess,we are all found lacking in this area of our human endearvours.We need an immediate improvement in other for us to create the future we all had been dreaming of.
    I’m quite glad that you came up with this topic at this period that we are all celebrating a new American President(betterstill,THE FIRST WORLD PRESIDENT)
    Obama has prove the power of networking which the basic concept is to be willing to help people.
    Deolu,since you have realise the problem i think now is the right time to find a lasting way of solving it.
    Now to your question,”Can i know you?
    ….Yes you can!

    Reply
  8. Bash Y
    November 11, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    nice… i’m one of those that crawl through without leaving a footprint… decided to drop a line this time :-). keep up the good work.

    Reply
  9. Cyril
    November 12, 2008 at 5:25 am

    Thought-provoking!

    This was even the primary aim of the early church – networking. But we are lacking it now.

    If Deolu would say, he needs to improve, then…

    I end with your words, ‘No one cares what you know until they know how much you care’

    Nice piece Deolu.

    Reply
  10. Cyril
    November 12, 2008 at 5:29 am

    Yes!, You can know me as I also eagerly wants to know you too.

    Thanks.

    Reply
  11. Yemisi
    November 12, 2008 at 7:36 am

    alot of people are bad with staying in touch and only run back to the friends they have when there is a need for such person, this is pretty back, for me i try but there’s always room for improvement.

    Thanks Deolu for this piece, May God bless U more and more

    Reply
  12. FT
    November 12, 2008 at 10:00 am

    Interesting……..
    I have enjoyed reading blog at different times, I also just read and tell others without dropping a line.

    I am encouraged again to work on my networking.
    Thank you.

    Reply
  13. Royal_Prince
    November 12, 2008 at 10:07 am

    OMG! This piece is timely and prophetic!
    You wouldn’t believe it that this issue has been going through my mind recently especially on monday this week on my way home from work.
    I looked at my life wrt contacts (AKA network) and i saw how awful i have been in the art.
    It could be temperamental but i know i certainly need to really work on it.

    Dee, you already know some stuffs about me (at least more than usual commentator username and email) via the “contact me” page…lol
    Hope to meet u someday in person ‘cos your life still challenges me till tomorrow.

    Luv U!

    Reply
  14. ATM SCAM ALERT
    November 12, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    This an awesome topic and very important one
    that i am hoping that one day the education
    athourities in the country will one day include
    it our academic curriculum.

    Some days back, i was discussing about
    the important of social networking while
    ones are in school and that led me to the
    general saying that some people are using
    “legs”to having their ways which the society
    believe it is not good.While i am not advocating
    mediocre in place of merit,i equally believe one
    must get connected in order to experience success
    in all areas of life,as no one is an island to himself or herself.

    Reply
  15. emeka
    November 13, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    @ royal_prince
    funny how i met dipo tepede,was just from being a commentator on his blog that got me a 4G apple ipod and that was it…..he is now a buddy, a big bro indeed.i’m looking forward to meeting you too.take care,lol

    Reply
  16. Adekeye Olusegun
    November 14, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    I can’t have this to myself alone cos its about networking, my brother i feel like i just top up my knowledge base this is crucial to survive in our world turned global village and I appreciate you thirst to reach out to people, deolu, kudos!

    Reply
  17. chukwudi uche
    November 14, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    NICE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  18. chukwudi uche
    November 14, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    NICE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  19. donONYEGBU
    November 14, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Wow! Another recipe for sucsess.
    Thanks Deolu.
    For those having problems with Networking, “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie will help you GREATLY.
    if you read the book and it doesn’t affect you, i’ll be glad to pay for the time you spent reading it.
    Have a great day.

    Reply
  20. chisunum joshua
    November 24, 2008 at 10:23 am

    thanks deolu 4 dat enlightenment,frm now i will put into dem into practice.chisunum joshua,delsu abraka

    Reply
  21. Anne
    November 26, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    Deolu,

    Am so challenged and have decided to write. Normally I read enjoy and go without a comment or even referring friends.

    Keep it up !

    Anne.

    Reply
  22. Benedict
    November 28, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Hi,
    I trust you are doing fine.Getting to know people is good keeping them as friends is better.This generation is too busy to keep longtime friendship,this is rather unfortunate…God will help us.

    Benedict Ohio.

    Reply
  23. Tico
    December 10, 2008 at 1:25 am

    nice one cos i so much believe in the power of networking.more of this.

    Reply
  24. Folake Albert
    January 14, 2009 at 9:18 am

    @Deolu,
    Can I know you?……YES you can.
    You have been a blessing to me with all the loads of wisdom I take here everyday.
    Please do add me to your mailing list

    Reply
  25. tosin fayokun
    April 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    thanks for the short secrets of creating and staying in touch….

    Reply
  26. Ifects
    April 30, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    This is true networking. Thanks for sharing this

    Reply
  27. IKOTUN ADEBISI
    April 30, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    thanks for sharing with me the secret of keeping on….
    building a network is an extension of a strong networth as nobody has ever succeeded in isolation. i will forever cultivate my relationships. back to my dairies and old address books. indeed thinking about old friends reminds yuo of your dreams as achild and energizes you to do more than wishful thinking

    Reply
  28. OMOZELE
    June 8, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    great piece. i ts true network is not about what you stand to gain but it also includes making friends and what you stand to give out too. thanks for the piece.

    Reply
  29. OMOZELE
    July 23, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    have read this post before but i just had to read it again just to remind myself of what my goals are this year. networking is very crucail in any venture from religion, starting a company, branding,sales and marketing… the list is endless. it also helps you to move up the ladder of success faster. Thanks always sir for being just too much.

    Reply

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Many hold their audience spell bound with motivational speeches but few care to hold the audience by the hand and help them walk their way to financial freedom like he does. Many have failed at everything they have tried to do but everything he does turns to gold. Read more…

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