For Men Only
Two young men decided to go visit a “Baba” in their quest to make money. They were both in their middle ages and they were dead sick of being poor. Both of them had struggled on various vocations, they have faced shame in family meetings, and pressures from their wives. The last straw that broke the camel’s back in their frustrated desire to get wealthy was the sudden realization that they were old enough to die. Their third person in their triad unannouncedly passed away, and it struck them, that life is short.
They decided to brave the option of making money by consulting a traditionalist, and decided to seek the counsel and craft of “Baba”. When they got to Baba, baba gave them a string of cowries to utter their desires to. The environment was filled with all sorts of artifacts that are typical of Ifa priests. They uttered their desires silently and returned the cowries to Baba. Baba then went ahead to consult the oracles on their plight. He takes his “Opele” (Opele is a string of split big seeds with a face and a back, this represent a binary code with about 65536 verses) in his hands, chants the prayer to Ifa that helps him to see meaning and interpretation from his craft. He chants while moving the Opele back and forth and throws it in front of him. As soon as he throws, he moves touches the seed, looking for the leader seed, trying to see where the binary code starts. He does a quick binary conversion and identifies the verse, he sighs - “Ifa mo roye, ela loro” - Ifa, I understand, it is clear!
Baba recites what he sees, and tells them why they have come. “You have come because of shame, you have come because of pressures, you have come, because you are tired of being poor.” - Baba tells them, as they both nod involuntarily. If Baba can decipher their quest, then he should have a solution. Baba tells them that he is interested in helping them, but first, asks if they are really ready to get wealth. They say they are ready, but he asks again. He asks them if they are willing to do anything to get wealth, at this point, one still retains his motivation, while the other becomes a part of the background to the discussions, nodding sluggishly. Baba then goes ahead to tell them what they would need to do. They would need to capture and have sex with two notorious mad women in their town! One decided to go with it, and the other backed down.
Have you ever heard about these kind of thing? Have you ever watched any movie that had this type of twist? Have you ever wondered why the Baba’s usually require something a bit difficult from their clients to prove their desire? Have you ever wondered why the Baba’s themselves live in mud houses, yet show people a part to wealth? Well it’s simple, if any man desires wealth enough to sleep with Mad women, he doesn’t need a Baba to get wealthy, he just needs a Baba to get enslaved. The reason the Baba only shows the way, is because he’s not desirous of wealth enough. He is not willing to do half of what he recommends. Whatever a man (this means man and woman) truly desires, he’ll have. We can have and do anything in this life that we want, if we desire is strongly enough. I have a question I want to ask you today, and it’s like the question of that Baba - Are you really ready for what you claim you are ready for, can you do anything?
Maybe you have a bad habit that you want to stop, do you really desire to stop? Maybe you have an idea you want to pursue, are you really ready to pursue it? Maybe there is something you want to do that requires a bold step, are you really ready to make that move? Are you willing to do anything ethical to get it done? If your answer is yes, then I have a solution for you, that works for me and has worked for everyone I know practices it. It’s a solution that is capable of multiplying your resolve and turbo charging your motivation. I call it, an oath of confirmation!
I once listened to a man I respect, Bishop David Oyedepo preach a message I can’t remember the title of. I was 19 then, and had resolved to live a righteous life. In this particular message he talked about what he considered the number 1 vice that destroyed men - Illicit Sex! He spoke passionately about how he believed the same thing had potentials of stopping him, and he shared his secret. He quoted a passage of the bible then - Hebrews 6:16,17 - “For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife. wherein god, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us:…” There is a lot in this passage, but let me highlight the key elements relating to this issue. When men swear to an oath, it’s a way to settle an argument or a struggle. Only a mad man will swear an oath and go ahead to break it. Even God swore an oath to Abraham to strengthen Abraham’s consolation. We make vows, or oaths, when we are serious about what we want! His secret was he had made an oath to God, that on the day he as much as touches a woman that is not his wife, that may he become leprous. I’m certain he swore to a lot more than he made public, but bottom line was that his fear of God in staying off adultery was bolstered with an oath! That same day, I decided to tie my life with an oath, and have only renewed it since then.
How do I bolster my fear of God or motivation to achieve with an oath? Let me share some ideas with you. Can you imagine yourself offering a prayer like this to God? “Father, I come before you today, and consecrate my life to you, I know you are my God, my king and father. Today, I decide to be chaste, I promise that by your grace, I will never have sex or share sexual intimacy with any woman that is not legally my wife. On the day I engage in such, may my prayers cease to be heard by you. May I cry for help in vain, may your favour that is so evident on my life be taken away, and may I watch my children die, and may I die an embarrassing death. In exchange for my consecration to you, I ask that as long as I stay bound by this oath, may doors open to me, may heaven pay attention to my every call, may God’s favor and grace be visible upon my life.” If you have a vow like that on your life - You will never commit fornication or adultery. If you do, it will because you clearly don’t give a damn about your life!
I did a little survey and asked some young men how many of them will go ahead to sleep with a lady that owns up to them just after foreplay that she has HIV/AIDS? So far, none has agreed to go ahead, even when they could protect themselves. It’s the same thing that happens when there is an oath hanging over your head, before you break it, a lot of things will have to happen. Many will profess to fear God, but you will know experientially what the fear of God means. A friend of mine once shared his story with me, of a time when he was lured by a female friend into a process that was meant to end as sex. He was visibly cooperating already, and his body wanted to go further. All of a sudden, he grabs the lady’s hands and shouts… “Do you want me to run mad?”, “Please let me go!” He had made a vow to God that on the day he has sex with a lady he is not married to, may he run mad! He ran, and knew it was a close shave with madness. Desperate situations require desperate measures! Anything that can ruin a man’s life that he engages in, must be subjected to desperate solutions. I know a few people who also have this vow, I am yet to hear of any of them fall into the temptation that is really common to man!
In case you are wondering is this applicable to only sex? NO! It’s applicable to any value, character, moral or virtue that you know you ought to keep. It can even be used in business. It’s called burning your ships. Putting yourself in a frame in which failure is not an option. It’s yanking out your reverse gear and heading forward ever. It’s not just for guys… ladies too. It’s still noble to be a virgin! It’s still right to be chaste! Not sleeping around is not being novice or inexperienced, it’s being wise and righteous. Society is standing on it’s head, yet we wonder why things are not going right. Chose to live by right values and burn your ships. Go and check out successful people, they move forward mostly because the back gears have been burnt. If you are struggling with any area, it’s because you are not ready to stop struggling. It’s because you don’t want to stop badly enough. I started making progress in business when I made up my mind and told God, that I was willing to succeed or to die trying (legitimately though). What the oath of confirmation does to you, is end your struggle. When a matter becomes life and death, you are likely to chose life! You might want to start small and grow it as you grow, but it’s a sure recipe for super motivation. The reverse have been used to instigate negative peer pressure - young guys telling each other, “if you don’t sleep with that girl in 7 days, your parents will die” - what do you expect the boy will do? We can use vows and oaths to ensure adherence to what we know is important. Looking at it properly, whether the oaths are there or not, disobeying God’s commandments come with curses, offering an oath is just sounding it loud enough for oneself to hear it.
This is strictly for the mature and the serious. If you want to keep deceiving yourself, let this fly. For me it’s been 12years. in 6 of which I was in a relationship and 5 of which I’ve been married and it’s working. Not only in my sexuality, in all aspects of my life where I am dead serious!
Hello. I am 
[...] For Men Only One decided to go with it, and the other backed down. … He quoted a passage of the bible then - Hebrews 6:16,17 - “For men verily swear by the [...]
Very timely and insightful post. God bless you Deolu.
Cheers!
Thank you Chairman for light you are shining through your writing. If men win the battle against sexual immorality, the rise of the glory of the original man will have begun.
Please help our generation as much as you can….for darkness covers the land, yeah, gross darkness the people……
many are crying still…”oh! wretched man that i am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death”
There could be nothing as binding as an oath,if you are dead serious about making it in life then a oath of purity and Godliness is a MUST,Make a oath of consecration today and start soaring.
Boss, this is really thought provoking,thank you for giving the light.
God bless you real good!
Hmm…you speak with a wisdom far beyond your years. I struggled with sexual immorality for about 17years, right from my teen years. I just woke up one day and found out i have been wasting my life away. Just like that! I have done all kinds of abonimable things, and i just wonder, will God ever forgive me?
Sometimes when I remember i just cry, and I wonder to myself there was a time I really used to fear God…what happened to me? I did not guard my heart, I went into sin willfully. I just woke up one day and the first thing that came to me was…if you don’t stop you will die. That day I prayed to God for forgiveness, and stopped. The temptations keep coming very strongly but God has kept me.
I totally agree with you that drastic situations require drastic measures.Even though I knew that I was committing sin, it was the fear of death that drove it home more. I will definitely back up my resolve with this kind of oath.
For anyone reading this , and still feels sex is what makes you the man, well I don’t know what you have done that i have not done o, but trust me what makes you a real man is your ability to say No, and do what is right and just and true.
The bible spells it out so clearly….Flee fornication. Joseph did, and fulfilled his destiny.
Thanks so much Deolu for this deep message, there is help available for what God requires of us to succeed in life, it’s a step further to bind myself with an oath if i’m really serious about my desires, thanks once again, cheers.
Very soul searching indeed.
Mike Muddock once said that “what you tolerate, you cann’t change”. So be it poverty, sin or a habit, we cannot rise above it if we still tolerate it. And the way out, is to fill our hearts with strong thoughts and desires of just the opposite-the change we want to see hapen in our life.
If i should put humility away and blow my trumpet, i made such vow sometime in the late nineties even though i have not consciously renewed it ever since, God has been keeping me from the sin of fornication. This is my tenth year in the Lord and have been thru the university and the youth service and still single and undefiled.
But we know that before God it takes more than the physical/practical abstinence becuase “he that looketh on a woman to lust after her…” we know the rest.
But we are not of those that commend themselves ‘cos if the Lord should mark iniquity who can stand.
May God help us!
Thank you Deolu, i have learnt something new: adding an oath (or vow) to one’s life pursuit and getting God oblidged by keeping one’s own bergain of it. A difficult proposition though.
Luv U!
Deolu,
This message is one of the best from you. Words are not enough to describe the effect of it. Very insightful.
Thank you very much
Goodday Mr. Chhairman,Thanks for a piece like this.The fact is we should all know that not just the oath will keep us from going into it.but we should have also remember fornication erode intelligence.u ar the best.
@ Royal Prince,
It is not forsaking humility to tell us how you have been helped by God. We need to be positive role models, we shouldn’t be so coded. The people that have serious problems are serving as role models for many of our young people. They do wrong and celebrate it, while we keep quiet in the name of humility.
There is a vacancy for people who will stand tall and shoulder high and say… By God’s grace, I drive the best cars, I am wealthy, own a number of assets, I’m also a good looking guy, and I neither do babes nor wine! I’m happily married to the love of my life, have children I adore, am lovingly serving God, and loving it!
Darkness does not have expression, it’s expression is in the absence of light. Shine my brother…and let the world be motivated by your light…. remember, let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds, and glorify your father in heaven.
Sometimes i wonder were your creating and inspiring writtings come from? Its obvious you been taking a lot of time mastering them. I will forever value the day Bidemi Sanusi invited me to the writer seminar and i saw you. Thanks for putting up blogs for us to read, its really inspiring and motivational.
@Adeolu,
I am trully inspired and by your encouraging response to my comment- a positive pull indeed!
Actually, there may be those who may be quick to tell me that the Bible says “let not your mouth praise thee” hence my attempt to pre-empt them.
Thank you Sir, I will shine! because His glory has risen upon me.
hmmmm …. I am a very lucky man for associating with men of God’s standards. Before I became born again 11 years ago in my 100 level … I had a high moral value system and so it is easier to keep doing same afterwards. Our world is at its lowest cos we don’t have many real men. Men who understand that d essence of manhood is in treating women with dignity not in deviling them. Men were created to lead n no subdue women … until we get it right .. we will continue having dysfunctional homes n families. Yes, real men are endangered species and I join Deolu to proclaim -
By God’s grace, I drive the best cars, I am wealthy, own a number of assets, I’m also a good looking guy, and I neither do babes nor wine and drugs! I’m happily almost married to the woman of my dreams and about to start raising a home that will glorify God and be a ray of hope to this generations and those unborn. God help me!
Sir, this is too loaded… I am short of words, I was particularly captivated by the passage of scripture; Hebrews 6:16 “For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife” - I have pondered over this passage of the Holy Bible over and over again and chei, this is the KEY.
“………..To them is an end of all strife”
When a man (or woman) is serious enough to take the bull by the horn and take this step of burning the reverse gear as you have stated above, the end of all strife concerning a disturbing issue comes. God bless you brother greatly for sharing this raw but timely truth.
Thank you for sharing
The New Living Translation puts it this… ‘For men swear by something greater than themselves, and for them a confirming oath ends every dispute. Because God wanted to show His unchangeable purpose even more clearly to the heirs of the promise, He guaranteed it with an oath,’ Heb. 6 ;16,17.
I had to quote the same verse from that translation because juxtaposing it again with your article made a whole lot of meaning; in fact it opened my eyes to a new revelation entirely. The Word of God is indeed living and active.
Once again Deolu, you’re God sent. The Lord is your strength!
I have read it, I will still read it over and over again and above all, I will ACT it.
I pondered, I came up with 4 words
The Desire- Y do u really want to live that life of chaste! Are u really looking at God or the promises that comes with it…how many of us would do that where there are no benefits?
The Purpose- To acheive what? To impress or to fufill or is it just a right-conscious-ness thing?
The choice- When u put a sword over ur head to stop u from certain desires..be careful not to be too extreme(by 2 immutable things..&..God is not a man that he should repent) The victim and the villain..u may become both..it tallies with a robber with a gun to ur head..u may not have a choice..but here maybe ‘the end justifies the means’
But then again,Glory is not for weak hearted men..there are certain summits that would demand ur very life, if u want to be there,u would give it. At least being super-natural is doing things above and outside the norm.
I saw a cartoon sketch once..A naked man was tied to a tree, on his private part, a rope to a revolver pointing at his head was attached while he had a blind-fold over his eyes,the blind-fold was taken off and in front of him a beautiful naked woman in the motions of a seductive dance….the catoon ended there with a big question mark and I wondered what became of that man. Some oaths may just be too heavy in this time and age,lots of seductive women before our eyes in this age,this is no excuse,dont get me wrong,but we must really understand what we are going into..y not try to say all that should happen to u if u just think it! at least thot and action are equal in the bible concerning this matter!
While I agree that certain drastic steps should be taken to tackle certain situations, I also believe that wisdom is profitable to direct..especially when one makes an oath with the almighty.
It is by his grace that we are called the children of God.
Hmmm… Babawande,
I’m sorry for how I’m about to write, I appreciate your perspectives. I only feel they are not instructive enough for the mind that seeks instruction. And trust me, many are struggling, and have tried all else.
Oath or none… there is clarity about God’s position and the reward of such vices. He who takes an oath does no new thing, he just speaks the reality to his/her own hearing. Oaths can be used to arrest taking thought as well, since even science agrees, that doing it in your mind is doing it anyway… and maybe time will tell if even that is safe sex
The Bible records that Jesus came to set free those who by fear of death has been laid captive all their lives. The fear of death is binding, and it can bind one from evil. Heb 12:4 says, “you have not resisted till bloodshed, striving against sin”. It’s no easy battle my friend, it should be addressed easily, and truth be told, I’m unaware of any other method that has worked.
In Prov 7:14, the chronicle of the activities of an adulterous spirit was culminated in a remarkable statement. She uttered shortly after laying hold of him- “This day have a I paid my vows”. The adulterous spirit has vowed to destroy you, the devil is hot on your heels. Would you rationalize and languish in guilt, or do we activate an oath that makes the grace that is already available to work. We have a form of godliness, but do we deny the power in it?
Bold, daring, courageous. Good job, Deolu, hoping to meet u one of these days. What u say is true, i committed myself to chastity and i’m happy i did. My wife and i were discussing at bedtime last weekend and we felt so fulfilled that sex waited till marriage. Its fulfilling. One doesnt have to struggle with bad memories, sexual flashbacks, haunting memories, regrets and what have u. Deolu, its a great job u’re doing.
Dear Deolu,
This is too much for me but i know it is part but not all of it . If i may ask, what about people that does not furnicate and still yet not making it in life? Do you have any advice for them? Dont you think we really need to look at the economic situation of these country? IT IS NOT ENCOURAGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the massage and may God continue to streghten you so that we can gain more from you.Amen
@Adejobi Adedapo
The issue of taking an oath is not attached to fornication or sex alone, it’s a principle that helps in guarding the lustful nature of the flesh. There are alot of adulterous men and women alive today who are rich and famous, but as Christians we need to reposition ourselves by employing spiritual vices that will guard our heart and keep us a step ahead of the game. I guess you successful christians are not just rich materially, but they also have spiritual wealth that create wisdom and impart in the lives of others while those that are just rich or famous live with uncertainty, insecurity and are tormented with fear. Read about Job and u wil have better understanding of what certainty is,He knew God was with him and he stood tru with certainty.
I am happy about my virginity and sexual status because it is something that sets me apart and i have been able to do all of this without an oath or even thinking about taking an oath because i never had this revelation before reading this post, although i am a young christ, i’m growing and developing into maturity by reading, listening and learning makig God’s word a standard for my life. I am glad i read this page and although taking an oath is hard and must be tought thoroughly, the liberation that comes with it is invaluable and unquantifiable. I have something dear that I have been battling on the inside of me by giving it all up to God to handle, i think now i found the antidoe and nothing is going to stop me from taking it hook,line, sinker, boat and fisherman